09/16/2013 06:31 pm ET Updated Nov 16, 2013

A Petition for a Mr. America Pageant

The Miss America was hard not to pay attention to given the bizarre push back of the public over, gasp!, an Indian-American woman winning the crown. (One more reason to be a proud New Yorker!). It's not the kind of Vaseline-toothed feminine ideal I aspire to, but that doesn't mean there aren't millions of women who feel differently. I get why it exists and why it still exists. Women are judged on the street and in the media for how they do or don't look, so why not make a country-wide competition out of it?

But it got me thinking, if we live in an age of equality, isn't it time there was a pageant for men? Why should only women be scrutinized for their appearance? Isn't it high time there was a nationally televised Mr. America pageant that judged a young man's talent, his brains, his choice of evening wear, and how he looks walking across the stage in a banana hammock?

I mean, it's shocking that men aren't up in arms, standing up for themselves, furious that for several decades they've been completely discluded from this time-honored American tradition. It's just like Augusta, only reversed! I don't understand why men aren't men suing for a competition of their own. Their gender rights are being constitutionally violated! If this was a lawsuit, the Supreme Court would rule in men's favor.

I took meninist classes in college. I am sympathetic to what men have had to go through historically. It's lonely at the top. But since the male Gloria Steinem seems to be ducking his head in the sand, I am going to take a stand on this issue on men's behalf.

So consider this post a petition to help men get their very own Mr. America pageant off the ground.

If you like this post, and it receives a million thumbs up--I guarantee the pageant people will take notice. And so will the broadcasters. Money has proven to move progress far faster than any discrimination lawsuit ever could.

Mr. America, your time has come. And I believe a million people think so, too.