07/15/2014 04:16 pm ET Updated Sep 14, 2014

Letting Go of Your Memory Ghost

Tim Flach via Getty Images

Do you know what a memory ghost is? It's not an actual ghost of course. It's the pizzeria that takes you back to your first kiss. It's the song that brings back those long summer nights. It's the movie you can't see without missing your best friend. It's the book you used as an escape during a rough time. A memory ghost is a memory that is so strong, it's left an invisible mark so it can never be forgotten.

Some memory ghosts are so strong they cause an eruption of emotions. Personally, i first watched The OC during a really weird time in my life, so every time I watch it, even though it's one of my very favorite shows, it kinda bums me out. It has so many memories from that time in my life that it's so hard to not remember all them when I watch it.

What do you do when your memory ghost is a person?

Everyone has a few memory ghosts that affect them in a serious way like that, but the trick is to not let them affect you too much. I have this issue where I sometimes refuse to see someone as how they are now. I only see the person they used to be. They are the memory ghost.

They become every good memory rather than who they really are standing in front of me. While the sentiment may seem beautiful and happy, it's not. It's not good to see someone for anything other than what they are. If all you see are the fantastic and beautiful memories when you look at them, you forget the bad things they've done to you.

There's that cheesy quote about how if all you love about a person is the memories, then let them go. Do it. If they aren't attempting to be a good person now then you are allowing them to continue being that person you no longer love. You are masking their bad attributes with the good memories. They are toxic to your well-being.

If they aren't the person you used to know and love (and you can't get on board with who they are now) then let them go. Stop allowing yourself to get hurt because you are hopeful that they are still that person. They will continue to hurt you because they know they can get away with it. Don't think of it as giving up. You are simply letting go of a toxic relationship. You are attempting to keep some sort of sanity and happiness, which should always be your goal in life.

Let go of your memory ghost. Move on with your life. Find someone who gives you happy memories and a happy present.