THE BLOG
03/22/2016 10:16 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How to Stand in Your Power and Stop Giving It Away

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Photo Credit Joe Madill

What does it take to stand in your power, and why is it important to stop giving it away?

Living your life from a place of personal power can come across as an overused statement to entice people to adopt a win at all costs kind of mentality. I believe it is really about standing in the truth of who we are as human beings. It is a way of life where you treat yourself and others with kindness, acceptance and love.

Standing in our power resembles a gentle strength that doesn't need to be seen and heard to thrive. When we are living life from an empowered place, we are fed from within. When we give ourselves the gift of living life in our truth:

a) We stop looking to others to define who we are, or who we are not.
b) We stop wasting our waking moments worried about what others think of us.
c) We value ourselves from a genuine place, making it easier to see the goodness in others around us.

Here are the three practices I turn to when I need a reminder of why it is important to stand in my power, and how to step back in if I veer off the path.

1) Acceptance

Deep acceptance comes from understanding how similar we are. We all hurt the same way and we all have the capacity to love the same way. We are human. Problems arise when we begin to feel separate, and believe we are better, less than or different than each other.

If someone treats you like you are less than or not worthy as you are, it is a trap they are stuck in. Give them some compassion for where they may be stuck and quickly move on to remind yourself of your ability to experience the human qualities you most admire and enjoy. If the quality is love, how can you step into love right now? If it is joy, how might you add more joy in the moment? If it is kindness, how can you be kind to yourself and others around you?

Acceptance is the golden pathway to empowerment. When you accept yourself no matter what experience you are in, you receive the gift of strength. When you accept others no matter what their opinions or differences may appear to be, you receive the gift of having a gentle, peaceful experience around others.

2) Freedom

The landscape of life is always moving and changing. Some days are easier than others to stay standing in our power and accept what is before us.

On those challenging days when your inner voice invites you to step away from your truth and instead be hard on yourself or others; see what happens when you literally free yourself from the story you are narrating.

If that story is an elaborate tale of all the reasons why you or someone else should be seen in a negative light, stop narrating at once! When we hold onto these kinds of harmful stories, it always feels like a departure from our gentle strength. The uneasiness that accompanies this departure is often felt on a physical level. This feeling is usually our first indicator we may be stuck in a story.

Freedom happens when we get into the driver's seat of our life and take control of our stories from an empowered place. We can choose to see the good traits in ourselves and others. There are always good things we can focus on. We get to make the decision to shine the light on what those things are. We can also steer away from focusing on the things that don't feel good. We free ourselves from the stories we feel stuck in by creating new stories that feel right and lead us to empowered living.

3) Self-Care

It is up to each of us to take care of ourselves. We are the gatekeepers of our thoughts and feelings. We get to decide whether the steps we take help us stand in our power or prompt us to give it away.

I have found that having a regular self-care practice has been fundamental in finding my inner truth and standing in my power. I believe in the importance of adopting a self-care practice that fits your individual needs and is easy to stick with through the highs and lows in life.

Some of the key things in my self-care practice include: self-reflection through writing and journaling, having a handful of trusted people I confide in, enjoying regular sleep, exercise and fun, spending time with my close people, limiting screen time and saying no when I mean no.

The trick I have learned about self-care is to add things that make sense to you, and to add them one at a time. This isn't a bootcamp or overhaul of your life, it is a practice of adopting joyful habits that will help you live your best life.

The other important consideration is to choose things that you can commit to doing on a regular basis, so it becomes habitual. My regular self-care practice is not just something I use to feel good in my life. It is a tool I draw on to help me through different obstacles, so I can support myself to stay on my path, stay in my truth and stand in my power.

What about you, what things are important to you in your self-care practice? How will you support yourself in standing in your power? Imagine what life would feel like if we all gave ourselves the gift of living from the truth of who we are.

If you enjoyed this post and you are interested in creating a lasting practice of joyful habits in your life, check out author Emily Madill's E-Course, Fall In Love With Your Life, One Week at a Time. We are excited to be building a community of people who are all on the journey of embracing life. It is a chance to create your own life practice in a way that is meaningful to you -- all are welcome. There are 12-week program options as well.