THE BLOG
11/11/2014 01:41 pm ET Updated Jan 11, 2015

How to Deal with Failure and 54 'No Thank Yous'

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This weekend, over yummy Christmas-flavored lattes, my husband and I were talking about how much has shifted for us this year.

I told him that I feel like I'm entering into a completely different chapter in my business and my life.

For example, last week was a monumental one: I hired a renowned copywriter (who I've been wanting to work with for the past year) and a Facebook marketing expert who taught me some new tricks, got my new London photos back for the website, and had 110 women sign up for my teleclass. Oh, and October was my best month ever financially.

I'm not telling you this to brag, but to make a point, because that wasn't always my reality...

Admittedly, I used to be someone who flailed about in her business and life and took chances and opportunities without really having a plan in place. It was major trial and error.

As a new business owner, I didn't really know the in's and out's of what I was doing every day, so I basically just tried various things to see what stuck. Not exactly a straight path to success, and it was obvious that I still had a lot to learn based on the results I got.

For example, at one point, I had 54 people say "no" to working with me in the span of eight weeks. (Well, they didn't really say "no," but they said they couldn't afford it at the moment, but still, that didn't feel very good!) But seriously, 54?!

Although that experience shook my confidence and trust me, there were plenty of tears, I realized that I could either give up and throw in the towel, or I could move past it, rework what I was doing and keep the faith that this was (and is) my purpose.

Clearly I chose the second option.

And yes, there were some dark days and feelings of "What am I doing wrong?", but I never "yo-yo dieted" with my business and my goals. I never took a month or even a week off in my mind when it came to creating a business and life I loved. I was persistent (even if it was trial and error at first).

So within the next month after those 54 "no"s, I did the following...

1. Rebranded my website.
2. Got really clear on who I was targeting.
3. Surrounded myself with like-minded women.
4. Worked on my money and success mindset.
5. Hired my own coach.
6. Didn't allow myself to go there when it came to negative thoughts.
7. Put Post-It notes all around the house with positive reminders.
8. Started guest blogging to build my list.

...just to name a few!

I was really fierce with what I desired in my life and refused to give up, and it paid off.

Fast-forward to today -- my business and life are flourishing, and I have far more people saying "Where can I sign up?" than "No, thank you."

I feel comfortable and excited about where I'm at instead of suffering from sleepless nights, lack of confidence or uncertainty.

I have a plan in place and a purpose.

I'm telling you, something transformational happens when you push past the "no"s and the perceived failure...

You become a stronger person ready to take on the world.

And now, I hate to think of where I'd be if I'd given up.

Interestingly, my own coach recently told me that she finds that many people give up literally just before something big is about to happen in their lives or careers.

So what about you? What would happen if you pushed past the failure? The sky's the limit.

You could land that ideal client tomorrow, get that big promotion in a week's time, meet your dream man in a bar this weekend, or get the clarity you're longing for today! You get the idea. Something better could be right around the corner...

And who knows? Maybe that failure happened for a reason because something much more incredible is on the way! I've seen that over and over again in my own life.

There's a particular quote that I love from The Science of Getting Rich that says:

Never allow yourself to feel disappointed. You may expect to have a certain thing at a certain time, and not get it at that time; and this will appear to you like failure. But if you hold to your faith you will find that the failure is only apparent. Go on in the certain way, and if you do not receive that thing, you will receive something so much better that you will see that the seeming failure was really a great success. A student of this science had set his mind on making a certain business combination which seemed to him at the time to be very desirable, and he worked for some, weeks to bring it about. When the crucial time came, the thing failed in a perfectly inexplicable way; it was as if some unseen influence had been working secretly against him. He was not disappointed; on the contrary, he was thankful that his desire had been overruled, and went steadily on with a grateful mind. In a few weeks an opportunity so much better came his way that he would not have made the first deal on any account; and he saw that a Mind which knew more than he knew had prevented him from losing the greater good by entangling himself with the lesser. That is the way every seeming failure will work out for you, if you keep your faith , hold to your purpose, have gratitude, and do, every day, all that can be done that day, doing each separate act in a successful manner.

So this week, push past the "failure" and create a new plan instead. Push past the moment where you'd normally go into overwhelm, pity, or frustration and remind yourself that you can do this and something big is on the other side.

And remember, this is actually what "FAIL" means:

F - First
A - Attempt
I - In
L - Learning

Happy failing!