Recipe for Having A Snow Day At Work
Are you sad because fluffy white goodness is swirling outside your boss's window and you're sitting in a cubicle? Time to put that unofficial Ph.D in Microsoft Outlook to good use and block yourself off a mini snow-break.
Recipe Yield: 1 serving wholesome fun
2 styrofoam cups
2 packets sugar
1 piece of 8.5 x 11 paper
8 binder clips (medium)
2 marker tops
2 pink erasers
1 pair scissors
1 Flavia (or other cartridge coffee brand) Machine
1-3 trash bags
2 lbs topographical knowledge
½ lb spirit of youthful rebellion
2 tbs. stealth
* Or group kitchen.
Test ripeness of cafeteria by doing casual walk-by around 2:00 p.m.; if fewer than 10 coworkers are milling around, cafeteria is in its prime. Locate seeds of the cafeteria (trays).* Using stealth and spirit of youthful rebellion, carefully remove tray, styrofoam cup, and sugar from cafeteria and exit office.
Stir in 1 lb. topographical knowledge and transfer ingredients to closest park/ grassy area within walking distance. Scoop layer of newly fallen snow into Styrofoam cup. Add in sugar, stir, and set cup aside.
While snow-cup crystalizes, prepare self for tray-sledding by covering exposed clothing in trashbags. Using remaining topographical knowledge, locate closest approximation to hill within park/ grassy area (this may be a slide). For best results, avoid pedestrians and cars.
Set tray on top of approximate hill and place non-dominant leg on tray. Using dominant leg, propel self down incline. Depending on topography of park/ grassy area, additional pushing may be required. Repeat until legs grow tired/lose feeling.
Once extremities are numb from tray-sledding, set tray aside. Knead handful of snow into ball and roll across ground, layering until volume increases to roughly the size of a soccer ball. Repeat process three times and stack snow-man style.
Add in erasers (eyebrows), marker tops (eyes), highlighter (nose), and binder clips (orthodontia). For additional limbs and accessories, look to the nature that surrounds you.
By now, contents of snow-cup should have solidified to snow-cone consistency. Consume icy treat and think about how the best things in life are free.
Return tray to cafeteria and insert hot chocolate cartridge into flavia machine using remaining styrofoam cup to catch juices. While waiting for natural flavia-ing process to occur, remove protective trash bag covering from your body and thaw.
Pluck fresh sheet of 8.5 x 11 paper from printer as you return to your desk and prepare hands for creativity by warming them on styrofoam cup. Once fingers have regained motor abilities, fold paper artistically. Use scissors to cut triangles in folded paper. Unfold paper and enjoy the snowflake you've just created. Offer it to your boss and tell her it's as unique as she is.
Top off feelings of warmth and contentment by drinking your hot chocolate, which should now be at a potable temperature.
*If substituting with group kitchen, locate large tupperware container lid.
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