Welcome back to the wonderful world of white wine tears, roses, grammatical incorrectness and two-month journeys toward engagement. That's right, "The Bachelor," has returned -- this time with the ever-adorable former pro soccer player and single dad Juan Pablo at its helm. This season, we'll be recapping the highlights of each episode in haiku.
10 Haikus About Juan Pablo's "Aventura"
El Bachelor's here
To speak the language of love.
Shirtless destiny.
Bach-on-Bach talk time.
Shirtless Sean meets Shirtless Juan.
"Go in for the kiss."
It's an adventure,
Not a journey, says JP.
Cue the shower scene.
"Juan Pablo fever,
Has reached epic proportions."
Thanks, Chris Harrison.
Chelsie, Andie, Clare,
Nikki, Amy, Valerie.
What's the difference?
"Holy moly!" "Oh,
My gosh!" "She smells good." "She's cute."
"There's more here?" --JP
Shoeless free spirit,
Dog lover, Fake pregnancy.
He's finding true love.
Amy J. wants to:
"Pour my oils all over him."
Avoid that masseuse.
What should Lauren do?
Her fiancee just dumped her.
Def go on "The Bach."
Sharleen leaves her mark.
"Want a rose?," says Juan Pablo.
Pause, pause, pause, pause -- "Sure."
And The Final Rose Goes To...
SAFE: Sharleen with the first impression rose, fake pregnant Clare, Nikki, Renee, Andi, Alli, Chantel, Lauren S., Kelly (and her dog Molly), Cassandra, Danielle, Chelsie, Kat, Victoria, Christy, Lucy, Elise ::pause so Chris can remind us that it's the final rose:: and Amy L.
ELIMINATED: Kylie, Lauren H., massage therapist Amy J., Alexis, Christine, Lacy, Maggie, Valerie and Ashley
This Season On "The Bachelor"...
Unforgettable adventure! Amazing women! Sexiest Bachelor! Making out under waterfalls! Everyone's in love! Crying! Shots of Patron! More crying! Fighting! A bomb is dropped! So many emotions! Crying against a wall! Crying on the bathroom floor! Someone wants to go home! Juan Pablo could end up with nobody! Someone hopes Juan Pablo dies! This is Juan Pablo's life!
The Best Tweets About This Week's "Bachelor":
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.