11 Beautiful Life Lessons I Learned From Date With Destiny

08/06/2016 06:22 pm ET Updated Aug 07, 2016

Date With Destiny is a seminar for the soul.

Date With Destiny is a sacred, beautiful, amazing, epic, awesome, inspiring, transformational, and mind-blowing experience where you experience 6 1/2 days with the legendary Tony Robbins and 3,000 other beautiful souls who come together from 80 different countries to create a new destiny.

In this epic program, which I’ve attended twice so far, you discover what’s been driving every single decision you’ve made in your life up until now.

You discover the unconscious conditioning that’s been causing pain and suffering in your life.

You’re also led through processes to discover and reclaim the true you, to claim what you’ve been made for, and to live in beautiful states easily and freely.

You witness interventions with people who are contemplating suicide go from depression to ecstatic joy.

You witness relationships that have been wrung out and conflicted heal with a new, powerful foundation of love and passion.

You witness people all around you opening up with their truth, caring for each other, and coming from a place that truly reminds us that we’re all one.

By the way...if anything I said above has intrigued you so far, Joe Berlinger created “I Am Not Your Guru”, the award-winning documentary based on Date With Destiny which was recently released on Netflix.

Make sure to watch it next time you want to “Netflix and Chill” and you’ll definitely have a more meaningful experience than watching the latest episode of House of Cards.

From attending this program twice now, I’ve learned many valuable lessons.

Here are 11 of the most valuable life lessons I learned from Tony Robbins at Date With Destiny:

1) Frustration means you’re about to have a breakthrough. 

Nobody ever changed their life when they were satisfied or ok with how things are going. They all built up with frustration until they hit a threshold where their whole body screamed, “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Not another day, hour, minute! This changes NOW!” 

The first time I went to Date With Destiny in 2013, Tony spoke about making breakthroughs everyday. This last time in 2015, Tony had a different take on breakthroughs; The new version of a breakthrough is living in a beautiful state, because success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. When you live in a beautiful state, you’re producing so much energy and joy that you’ll not only make the breakthrough…you’ll enjoy every moment along the way.

2) Be cheerful instead of happy.

You might be thinking...what’s the difference? I really liked the way Tony said it: The difference between cheerfulness and happiness is that when you’re cheerful, people get to see and experience it too. Happiness is in your mind, cheerfulness fills people up from the soul.

3) What’s your primary question? 

We all have a question that drives our focus in every moment. More often than not, this question is unconscious and we don’t even realize it until we take the time to focus and discover what it really is. Back in 2015, my primary question was... How can I make progress faster? 

This may sound like a great question because its focused on growth and progress, but it also carries with it stress when things aren’t happening fast enough. Thus, I chose to change my question to...Where is the gift in this moment? 

4) Perfection is not a standard. 

If you’ve been a perfectionist throughout your life, this is your wake up call. There is no such thing as perfection. Perfection is not even a high standard; it’s honestly a standard that nobody will ever meet. When you choose to be a perfectionist, you will never be able to accept things as they are, which means you can’t be with life and this causes an enormous amount of stress and destruction in life. If you’ve been a perfectionist up until now, I highly encourage you to focus on trading your your expectations for appreciations.

5) Remember who you are at your core essence.

Masculine and feminine, which one is your core? Society, media and recent movies have flip-flopped masculine and feminine roles…confusing us in how to act to fit in with society. This causes challenges not only in relationships, but also in feeling comfortable in our own skin. How can you tell what your core is?

Masculine is driven by purpose and mission, craves freedom, and brings raw presence.

Feminine is driven by intimate relationships, craves filling up, and brings radiance and light.

We’re made of both energies, however there’s one that we’re dominant with. Remember what your core is and lead from there.

6) Polarity creates passion.

Generally, marriages don’t fail because of a lack of love. They fail because of a lack of passion. In fact, almost all relationships fail because of a lack of passion, and polarity is the key to passion. When a man shows up as feminine and his partner is feminine, there’s no polarity. Same for if a woman shows up as masculine and her partner is masculine. If you are in a relationship and you feel that you’ve been experiencing these challenges, here are some solutions to bringing back intimacy in your relationship.

7) Triggers for the masculine…

There are three main triggers for the masculine.

1) When they feel criticized.

If you catch yourself doing this to your partner, focus on appreciating them.

2) When they feel like their partner has closed themselves off to them.

If you catch yourself doing this to your partner, focus on opening up to them with playfulness.

3) When they feel like they’re being controlled.

If you catch yourself doing this to your partner, focus on giving them the freedom they need. 

8) Triggers for the feminine…

The three main triggers for the feminine are...

1) When they feel unseen.

2) When they don’t feel understood.

3) When they feel unsafe.

If you catch yourself making your partner feel in any or all of these ways, the best solution is to give them is to give them raw presence…all the time and every time they need it.

9) Consciously choose your values.

We’re often conditioned with rules as we grow up. We can change our rules, and what’s stronger than our rules is our values. For me, I chose to make my #1 value God/Universe/Soul-guided decisions. Why? Because I resonate with what Tony has said about decisions:

“It is in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.” 

I figured that with this #1 value, I’d be making the best decisions...not just for me but also for the world.

10) Live life so wide awake…like you’re driving a Bugatti at 233 mph.

Tony said one of the coolest recent experiences of his life was driving a Bugatti at 233 mph. Date With Destiny is all about living life wide awake and conscious, and he used this metaphor because in order to successfully drive the Bugatti…he had to be incredibly wide awake. Any turn he made with a slight margin of error could’ve meant crashing…which could’ve meant death. When we live wide awake, we’re able to show up and bring and receive greater value from every situation in life. We can choose how we respond to life rather than react.

11) Live an integrated life. 

I first heard about spiral dynamics at Date With Destiny back in 2013. Its a map created by Claire Graves and further developed by Ken Wilber on the stages of human consciousness from the dawn of mankind to the next tier of consciousness that’s emerging. Tony does an exercise where people wear hats representing each stage of consciousness within the first tier and ends by emphasizing on the importance of living an integrated life. We are all one, everyone has value, there are many parts of us…internally and externally. When we live from the 2nd tier of consciousness, abundance is our natural playground and love is our legacy.

If you’ve enjoyed these lessons, I encourage you to tune into the the episode I did about Date With Destiny on The Soulfully Optimized Life.

Interested in attending Date With Destiny?

Denise Makus is the woman who inspired me to go to my first Date With Destiny back in 2013. She hooked me up with an awesome deal and has been a great support ever since. She also told me that she will take extraordinary care of anybody who I know wants to attend the program.

If you’ve enjoyed this article, I highly encourage you to go. It has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.

You can contact Denise at (858) 713-8338. Just tell her that Adam Siddiq sent you and she’ll hook you up!

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