For many people, winter holiday season is an exhilarating period of family reunions, over-indulgence, and lifted spirits, but for some, the holidays are anything but, “the most wonderful time of the year.” Those who experience “holiday blues” often perseverate on deceased loved ones, bitter cold, and reduced daylight hours, or lost romance. Whether the reasons be biological, circumstantial, or both, joy typically associated with this time of year is replaced with low motivation, diminished sense of pleasure, and social disconnectedness.
Holiday blues are typically marked by functional depression, and/or anxiety, and should not be confused with other depressive disorders such as Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Depression, or Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia). Although lesser in severity, and shorter in duration, holiday blues can still impair functioning in several life domains, and can conjure feelings of hopelessness associated with suicidal ideation.
It would be well for anyone weighed down by holiday depression and anxiety to see a doctor to rule out any possible medical or psychiatric diagnoses. To be sure, if answers are received, peace of mind is sure to follow. The following five suggestions will work independent of, or in conjunction with, any recommended medical plan.
1.) AVOID ISOLATION
If human beings share any trait with some lower life forms, it is that we are social creatures who thrive within community. People are not meant to exist as ciphers void of contact. We need warm gazes, friendly voices, and hugs to survive, and feel connected. Although holiday blues will tempt us to sit home alone in pajama pants, to do so amplifies the very symptoms we are trying to alleviate. Although it could be a struggle to socialize, it will be worth it, because you are. Side Note: Social Media Contact is Not the Same Thing.
2.) GIVE A LITTLE BIT
Clichè though it may be, “’tis better to give than to receive.” For sure, holiday season can be a painful reminder of our own limited financial means, but to assume giving is synonymous with spending minimizes the human touch. One alternate method of giving is to lend an ear to someone in need. To afford another the gifts of empathy and understanding removes the presumption we are alone in our feelings. Sometimes, it takes only the normalizing of our feelings by another person to remind us we are not broken, or defunct.
3.) VOLUNTEER
In addition to lending an ear to a friend in need, you might try volunteering your time to those in need. Full disclosure, the most satisfying Thanksgiving I ever experienced was spent feeding homeless people in and around my community. I felt connected to my community, met people I might otherwise never have met, and as a result, lifted my own sense of well-being. Local soup kitchens may well need help, seniors who are alone in nursing homes could benefit from visits, shut ins might love holiday songs sung to them. You will never feel more rewarded than when you give your time.
4.) INVEST IN SELF-CARE
To be clear, self-care is not to be confused with selfish. In addition to all the giving to others, you might want to try giving to yourself, because you are worth it. Get a jump on those waiting for the new year to begin resolutions, and work in exercise. It’s a known lifter of serotonin and endorphins, and the first sign of results will immediately lift mood, and breed more action. If possible, treat yourself to massages, yoga, or meditation. All of these activities are an investment in yourself, and there is no better investment.
5.) DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF
Although the preceding strategies are not ranked by level of importance, or effectiveness, this one might be the key to even allowing the others to happen. The one entity sure to exacerbate your holiday blues is the harsh inner self critic admonishing you for being depressed at a time known for joy and festivity. Such self-criticism is sure to conjure feelings of guilt and shame that feeds depression the meal it loves most. Much of the guilt is associated with falling prey to the almighty “should.” When we are convinced we should do something, or feel a certain way, anything short presents as failure. Focus instead on, “I’d like to feel my best around this time of year, and I will work toward my goal. If I have bad days, I will not punish myself.”
Ignore the critic, and accept your feelings. You might not be in control of those feelings, and blaming yourself for them is as foolish as blaming yourself for rain or famine. To be sure, accepting your feelings differs from surrendering to them, so, take a moment to read these strategies, and choose what will work best for you.
Holiday Blues Are Real, but Not Unbeatable