Do You Know The Symptoms of Plug Envy?

09/29/2016 12:03 pm ET Updated Nov 29, 2016

A few weeks back, I was stuck in an airport on the day that Southwest Airline’s computer system failed, cancelling 2,300 flights and grounded people for as long as a Jr. High school kid would be after getting caught driving around his dad’s pickup truck with a girl.

People were missing big events, family members, meetings, make-it-or-break-it interviews, or just striving to get back home from long work travel. Overall, despite the unexpected change in schedule, people seemed pretty calm…for 1 hour.

An hour into the waiting game, an electricity of panic started to rise among the travelers in the terminal. A contagious itchiness started spreading, and for some, you could tell it turned into a full-fledged burning sensation and that’s when the trouble started. People’s smart devices started to drain. The ratio of Plug to Outlet was way off, at least 22:1.

This equation immediately divided people into two groups. Those who were Plugged In and those who had Plug Envy. The PIP’s or Plugged-In-People were typing away with a calm and somewhat slight grin, watching videos, glaring lovingly into their smart device, enamored by its glow. The PEP’s, yes, you’ve got it, the Plug-Envy-People grew itchy, red faced, & stared at the PIP’s like a thirsty desert traveler. The dividing line got thicker. I know this because I was a fortunate PIP. I felt strong, confident, and seeing my battery life grow bigger empowered me. Not knowing how long we would be stranded, I hoarded that sweet little outlet despite my 89% charge. I felt blessed with abundance. I felt invincible with a near 100% charge and then I knew I had a problem. The first step is admittance. I was hooked on Battery Life.

Don’t judge me, I’ve been a PEP before. Without a full charge on my phone I felt a twinge of angina, and as a pretty fit marketer on the move, that is No Good. Here’s some Plug Envy Symptoms: Tightening of the chest, confusion, increase in appetite, fidgety, tendency to stare at people charging their devices with open mouth, dry mouth, anger, resentment, spikes in blood pressure, hopelessness, itching behind shoulder blades, neck pain, hot head, ringing in the ears, swearing, halitosis, rapid heart rate and occasional unexpected crying.

If You Suffer from Plug Envy, Know There is Help:

  • Buy a portable charger for your smart device. It will cost you about $100 to $150 for a good one, or less if you’re a savvy shopper. Here’s 30 of the best options, tested.
  • Admit This “Rx” Out Loud Twice a Day for 7 Days, “I Am Valuable With or Without My Device”: If you miss a dose, admit-i-ster again as soon as possible. Overdose risk is 1 out of 5 billion.
  • Look Around at Your Surroundings: Nature can help you heal! Here is your brain on nature.
  • Read: How To Win Friends & Influence People.
  • Walk Very Slowly WITH Purpose: Inhaling, Exhaling is the purpose. Walk outside if possible & always away from traffic. (my legal team read this first, sorry)
  • Meet an Airport Stranger at The Restaurant Bar: Order wine, an IPA, or sparkling water. Toast to just BEING safe and at peace in the moment, not forcing conversation, but just sitting alongside a fellow human that has faults, challenges and life stuff going on, just like you. Tell a joke. Goes like this: “A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said why the long face?” Own it. Here’s 50 more.
  • Step Away From your Device ON PURPOSE: Just do it. Reboot your brain from eye strain. You’re gonna love the way you feel. Start with 10 minutes, work towards 1 hour.
  • Adopt a Shelter Animal: Studies show pets can help people be better people, as well as lower blood pressure, and many other life-symptoms.
  • Contemplate Hopes & Dreams: At least one hour before bed, never look at a device screen and let your nervous system start to wind down. Ask you partner about the day, read This Poem, freak your kids out & sing #rocketman, karaoke style in the living room, even if nobody shows up. Think of things you have always wanted to do in life. Write one down. Start fresh tomorrow, FREE of Plug Envy, 100% charged.
Kimberly McCoy, C.C.O., Lifestyle Marketing Writer, Promoter, Founder of HiRise Promotions & Marketing, Inc. in 1993. Kim is famous for being 6’0 with Size 11 Feet, always answering questions like “how tall are you? did you play volleyball in college?” Advocate of healthy marketing adventure, public relations, thankful attitudes & people who go the extra mile (not for the calorie burn). Spends most of her time enjoying the thrill of creating successful sales & strategy for brands & authors that make life better with a smile on her face in Lycra. Failed as a TV Reporter, but aced it behind the scenes in marketing & PR, which made her realize...failure can be a great kick-in-the-asking for better direction. Never looks back, but up, so she can continue to climb tall mountains. Wildly attracted to learning and eating carbs in airports boarding flights between Houston & Chicago.
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