In a rage, President Trump mistakenly fires Regis Philbin, his old friend, instead of Reince Priebus, his Chief of Staff

03/21/2017 08:38 pm ET Updated Mar 22, 2017
- - - -<strong><em> Trump and Philbin, singing a duet, in happier days.  </em></strong>- - - -
- - - - Trump and Philbin, singing a duet, in happier days.  - - - -

NOT FAKE NEWS BUT AUTHENTIC SATIRE

At 4 AM, Trump tweets a retraction and blames his mistake on former President Obama. “He put the idea into my head,” Trump claims. “I wish he’d stop doing that. It’s driving me crazy!”

Apparently confused by anger, President Trump issued a tweet at 2 AM this morning “firing” Regis Philbin, an old friend, stating that he no longer trusts Mr. Philbin to do his job. Then, at 3 AM, the President tweeted a retraction, declaring that what he actually intended to do was fire Reince Priebus, his Chief of Staff. Then at 4 AM, Trump issued yet another tweet, blaming his mistake on former President Obama. “He put the idea into my head,” Trump claimed. “I wish he’d stop doing that. It’s driving me crazy!”

When the White House was asked for clarification, Trump’s spokesperson Kellyanne Conway replied, “Of course, Mr. Trump hears things that other people don’t. He’s the President! It’s his job.”

For his part, Mr. Philbin issued a statement reaffirming his close and long-standing friendship with the President. “Donald called me just a bit ago,” the TV personality reported. “He’s offered me a plum job. Either I can be Ambassador to Ireland or the new Host of The Celebrity Apprentice. It’s my choice.”

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