I’ve always wondered why there isn’t a roadmap to parenting with your heart. It seems like you have this baby and you’re supposed to know how to parent intuitively. Many of the parenting books out there only prove to make things more confusing. I remember when my kids were young, it was the trend to let them scream in the other room rather than soothe them. I tried it once and thought it was the most horrific thing. It didn’t make any sense to me. The idea that it taught them to self-soothe was ludicrous to me. What it really taught them that they could scream all they want and I wasn’t going to be there for them, which goes against everything I believe. I think a child would be more independent knowing that someone has their back, rather than left alone to cry. It didn’t make any sense to me. I have the perfect solution for you to figure out your own roadmap to parenting.
It starts with intention.
Intention is a force that sets everything in motion. I believe that it’s the most powerful force in the universe. And yet, no doctor after you’ve had a baby, “What’s your intention for raising this baby?” Can you imagine? It would be so great. I can tell you from experience that it’s extremely important.
Now that I have children who are 26 and 28, I can see clearly that they are 100% reflecting the intention that I had while raising them. My intention was clear: I wanted them to listen to their own hearts and let their hearts guide them on the journey of life choices.
In order to have them listen to their own hearts, I had listen to my heart and show them how by modeling the behavior. I had to follow my dreams and show them that anything is possible. When they had a specific dilemma, we practiced listening to their hearts. We’d close our eyes, put their hand on their hearts, takes some deep breathes, connect with their spirit and soul and ask the question. The first thing that popped into their minds was the right answer, whether it was changing schools or taking a dance class or going on a trip somewhere. If their hearts said yes, we were down for it and we made it happen. By we, I mean I. I jumped through hoops to have Kara to become the ballet dancer that she is today. And found the money to send Kaylie to Bhutan- a place where she has such a heart-connection and she has returned several times since. The reason to set an intention when you have a baby is so that choices in their lives become easier to make. The intention sets the tone and becomes a powerful force in the family dynamic.
When you’re planning a trip and use a roadmap, you know your final destination. That’s the same with parenting. Setting an intention becomes the final destination that determines the roadmap that you’re going to take.