“If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? (or in an Unhappy Relationship?)”

11/13/2017 02:45 pm ET

Of course, there are many single people who choose to remain that way. They are not interested in a serious, committed partnership. Good for them. But there are many who really want to find a loving relationship. Interestingly, when you ask them: “Why are you still single?” they will often give answers that make them sound like a victim, such as:

• I keep on meeting men who are commitment-phobic

• I seem to meet women who are just gold-diggers

• Most men are liars, cheaters or abusers

• Most women I meet seem so superficial and boring

If you are interested in a serious love relationship—have you ever looked into the mirror and asked the question: How come a terrific person, like me—is still single? If you have, when Saturn transits your 7th House of Marriage and Partnership, you may find the answer. (See the end of this article to find out where Saturn is in your birth chart.)

What’s Going On in My Life?

Saturn may be affecting your horoscope right now. How will you know?

If you’re single, you may be feeling lonely because you don’t have a love relationship in your life. Saturn energies can make you depressed about being alone. Even if you’re in a relationship you may feel like you’re alone, if your needs are not being met by your partner.

If this is the case, Saturn’s lesson is about getting you in touch with the limitations and restrictions that may be prohibiting you from finding the right relationship. In your attempts to find the right one, something maybe wrong in the way you’ve gone about it; so now is the time to ask yourself what it might be.

I remind clients who feel a bit down when Saturn transits their 7th House, to remember—that it’s only temporary. Saturn’s presence is there to help you re-evaluate any changes you might make that would bring a love relationship into you life. If you spend too much time by yourself, perhaps it’s time to get out of the house and socialize with others. If you’re so critical that no one seems interesting, maybe it’s time a meet different people or reevaluate your standards. Or, maybe it’s time to come to terms with whether you actually want a romantic partner in your life. Saturn is there to encourage some change that will help you get what you want.

If you’ve been dating someone exclusively, seeking a long-term relationship, this can be a serious and intense time of deciding to have a committed love relationship in the form of marriage or living together. Or, it maybe time to be realistic and recognize that you are not in a relationship that will lead to the long-run commitment you want. Saturn’s message: Review and re-evaluate your relationships (or lack of).

Being Single & Looking for the “Perfect Mate”

In my astrological consultations I meet with lots of single people who sincerely want to find a wonderful love relationship, get married and build a life with someone. Many of them are frustrated that after dating so long and having numerous relationships, they still haven’t found the right one. In fact, I frequently get asked: “How come it’s so hard for me to find the right guy (or gal)?” Of course, their personal birth chart usually reveals the answer. I explain to them, “Saturn transiting through your 7th House may provide you with an answer to that question, along with some important insights to consider.”

Saturn brings realism and practicality to the affairs of your heart. If you’ve been frustrated in your attempt to find a special love relationship, you need to make an honest assessment of yourself and your attitude towards the romantic prospects you’re meeting. One question to ask yourself is: “Are you too picky and critical when it comes to selecting a potential mate?”

If your answer is yes, then it may be time to be more accepting of yourself and your own imperfections. By doing so, you’ll be more likely to not seek perfection in another person. This will allow you to make an adjustment from what may be unrealistic standards to ones that are more reasonable and attainable. You’ll suddenly open up the field of relationship possibilities and find it far easier to meet partners who are compatible and potential mates.

When I was single, I remember periods of endless dating, never finding the right woman for me. Part of my problem was that I was “stuck” on my list of criteria I insisted a woman meet before I would consider her for a relationship. Many of my wants were important, but many were not. I had a specific picture of how the perfect woman had to be. I came to realize that picture guaranteed I would be a lonely bachelor forever. Eventually, I changed my picture and the most amazing love relationship I’ve could have ever imagined came into my life.

Ask yourself: Is it time for you to let go of certain relationship requirements that in the past were fixed, in order to make it possible to achieve the goal of having a close relationship? If you genuinely do this, you’ll allow marriage to be a distinct possibility that might not have been possible before Saturn transited your 7th House. If you’re willing to make these adjustments, Saturn’s influence in your life has the ability to make a relationship show up in reality.

Do You Have a Single Friend?

You may know a single person who has unrealistically high standards and who’s always critical of the people they date. Often, their critical behavior is based on deep-rooted psychological issues, which may require therapy and counseling to help them resolve their issues. But for others, they may need to adjust their standards from perfection to human. Ironically, such a person may attract a relationship into their life that they find totally exciting and captivating.

In fact, they’re sure they have finally found the perfect soul mate—their ideal marriage partner, only to ultimately find that the other person was unsuitable and not really a good match for them. They’re disappointed that the person didn’t measure up to their expectations, yet they failed to realize that it was their expectations that caused their dissatisfaction—not the other person. You can change your expectations but you can’t change the other person.

If you’ve had this experience, especially during Saturn’s transit to your 7th House, it’s an opportunity for you to take responsibility for your inability to find a suitable partner. Never forget: when you have a relationship with someone who ends up not meeting your standards, the common denominator is YOU! Therefore, it’s time to re-examine your approach to love relationships, your criteria and expectations. The energies of Saturn will help you become realistic and find a new approach to bringing a love relationship into your life.

A Call to Be Realistic

Saturn’s energies make you serious and ready to look at the issues that have adversely affected your ability to have a satisfying relationship. You then have the opportunity to make any necessary adjustments. Are there any changes you want to make in your relationships and partnerships that might help you find the love relationship you want?

If you want to know where your personal transits are—and to find out if you have any in the 7th House of Marriage & Partnership—that are affecting you now, go to the FREE Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. You may find out that Saturn, or other personal transits are bringing change to your relationships, right now.

If you want to know about the planets affecting your love compatibility with another person, go to the Free Love Compatibility Calculator and enter your birth date and theirs. And, if you want a customized report on your compatibility together, order Your Love Compatibility Report.

If you want to know more about your sign and how the planets may be bringing changes to your life, go to the Free Transit Calculator and enter your birth date. And, if you’re curious to learn what your Horoscope says will be happening this year in such areas as your love relationships, and marriage prospects, as well as career, investments and health: Order your customized Report: Your Horoscope & Future in 2018.

If you want to learn more about Sun sign, go to the Free Horoscope Calculator and enter your birth date. If you want to learn about your unique personality, strengths, weaknesses and talents you were born with, order your: Personal Horoscope Report. It includes a copy of your birth chart.

If you want a Personal Daily Horoscope for your phone , click the link.

Larry Schwimmer is known as “the down-to-earth Astrologer who uses your Horoscope to solve your problems and tell your future!” He is an astrologer in private practice. For a personal consultation, contact him at: Larry@astrodecision.com or go towww.AstroDecision.com

Read Larry Schwimmer’s latest books, here

To Sign-Up for Larry’s Blog, click here

For more by Larry Schwimmer, click here.

Larry Schwimmer is president of Astrodecision.com, a San Francisco-based consulting company. The firm uses planetary cycles analysis to counsel individual and corporate clients on picking the “best dates” to make successful decisions of all types: personal, marketing, financial, and political. Schwimmer is an internationally known business consultant, life coach and astrologer (with a Fortune 500 M&A background). Visit his website: AstroDecision.com

Follow Larry Schwimmer on Twitter: www.twitter.com/astrodecision

This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
CONVERSATIONS