6 People to Remove From Your Contact List

01/10/2018 10:43 am ET

When a friend continuously fails to provide fundamental support to your relationship, it may be time to evaluate whether it has reached the end of its life cycle.

Sometimes moving on from a friendship is the best thing to do for your mental health. Everyone has limited time and energy, and a positive relationship is an investment which pays dividends. Purposely choosing to associate with people who frustrate, confuse or drain your energy is not the best use of your resources.

Here are six personality types you might want to consider deleting from your contact list this year:

The Plan Canceller

This person is fun to be around when they make the time to show up. They routinely cancel plans at the last minute or double or triple book, giving you a limited version of their best self before they run off to another party or event. They are often “better deal” players, scrapping plans if something more exciting comes up. It’s hard to count on them because you never really know if they will follow through.

The Self-Absorbed

This is the friend who is so self-absorbed every conversation circles back to them. Anything you mention reminds them of a similar story, which they share in excruciating detail. You listen attentively to their tales, yet they never get back around to the original conversation which started with something that just happened to you. Sponges usually attach themselves to patient listeners; however, listening is a two-way street. It may be in your best interest to develop friendships in which the other person is equally interested in what you have to say.

The Saboteur

This is the person who wants to go bar-hopping when you are trying to cut back on drinking, brings over pints of chocolate chip ice cream when you are on a diet and pesters you to take an expensive vacation when you are on a tight budget. They are well aware you are trying to improve yourself but intentionally sabotage your efforts for their own personal gain. When you push back, they get mad and won’t talk to you for several months at a time. Before you cut them from your list, have a candid conversation about how you feel. The relationship may be worth salvaging if they understand your motives.

The One-Upper

Whether your news is good or bad, they always have you beat. You share you’re getting a new promotion, and they are about to be named partner with their firm, get the coveted corner office and a fat raise. Your cat got into a fight with the neighbor’s cat. Their dog got into a fight with a bear. Invest in relationships that are more supportive and less competitive.

The Gossip

You know the intimate details of all their friends’ lives, no matter how personal or confidential. They begin all their conversations with, “Don’t tell anyone I told you this, but…” While it may feel good to be in the inner loop for a while, rest assured everything you share with them is being broadcast to all their other loyal listeners. Trust is an important factor when it comes to friendship and business, and your status update should not be shared with anyone who will listen to them.

The Pessimist

They don’t just see the glass as half-empty, they revel in doom and gloom. After spending a short amount of time with them, you walk away darker and gloomier than before. Some people enjoy making negativity an infectious habit. Instead, choose to surround yourself with people who are uplifting and optimistic. Positivity is contagious. Ditch the naysayers and find some happier friends!

For more of Diane’s etiquette tips, you may enjoy reading How to Handle a Friendship Break Up. You can also visit Diane’s blog, connect with her here on HuffPost, “like” The Protocol School of Texas on Facebook, and follow her on Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. Buy her new book, Modern Etiquette for a Better Life.

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