Sober is the new cool!
Once upon a time it was frowned upon not to have a drink. There was something wrong with you or you must be deathly dull not to drink.
How times have changed!
At the last official count, 21% of UK adults are teetotal. So the word on the sober street is that non-drinkers do exist and it’s becoming more acceptable. Now there is a growing number of hip sober hangouts in London, Berlin, New York, Salzburg and many other cities.
It‘ll also help you to figure out if you have a wonky relationship with booze or drugs.
Everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different but if you’ve got to the point where you are questioning yourself time and time again then you might do well to adopt some of these amazing strategies.
Whether you are 'Sober Curious,' striving to feel better mentally or physically, want to arrest those insane hangovers for a while, or wish to quit altogether - here are some super strategies to keep you motivated and on track.
- Take care of your emotions.
Cravings for alcohol starts with a trigger.
Triggers can be both internal and external.
Internal triggers are emotions and thoughts that lead you to drink. This includes, but isn’t limited to, anger, stress, anxiety, sadness, loneliness and even boredom. The external triggers can be things such as meeting the mother of all deadlines at work or being undermined by a colleague.
Both internal and external triggers can be related. For example, if you’ve had a bad day that’s an external trigger but it’s also an internal trigger because you feel negative and stressed.
- Select the situation. For example, if you find an acquaintance or colleague annoying then figure out a way to avoid bumping into to them
- You are not perfect. Trying to be perfect isn’t allowing you to live your best life. The goal of achieving the perfect vision limits your ability to see the possibility in everything around you and thus leads to frustration. Try not to overthink or overcomplicate things
- Change your thoughts. By changing your thoughts you may not be able to change the situation but you can at least change the way you believe the situation is affecting you.
2. Do something you’re good at
Everyone is good at something.
One of the best ways to find a new substitute for the reward center in your brain is to find something you're good at.
A sense of achievement can go a very long way in terms of staying sober. You might already know you’re good at sketching, for example, or you may need to invest in a little trial and error with various hobbies.
The most important thing is not to practice a hobby that you personally associate with alcohol. The reward center in your brain will override your cravings if you ride it out and focus on your skill.
3. Look after yourself
This one’s a simple trick - looking after yourself on a day to day basis can really change your mental attitude.
Sort out your sleeping pattern, eat well, dress to impress yourself. Routine is your best friend in staying sober.
4. Ask for help
No one is perfect and that’s the beauty of life!
Never ever be ashamed to ask for or seek help if you are finding staying sober a challenge. This could be going to AA meetings,or picking up the phone to a friend or one of your family.
Keep asking.
You will find that some of your family and friends are relieved that you have reached out and want to support you. Don’t forget they may have known you had a problem long before you did.
5. Create meaningful relationships
Speaking of family and friends - don’t be afraid to cut out toxic people from your life.
This may be your old drinking partners, a friend that doesn’t really ask how you are, a controlling relationship, etc. Anyone who doesn’t support you or doesn’t care that you’re trying to stay sober doesn’t need to be in your life.
Instead, focus on making friends that fit into your new amazing and healthy sober lifestyle. This could be friends from a weekend workshop you attended or sports team that you’ve recently joined.
6. Do something kind for someone else
Random acts of kindness without return is the most powerful thing can do to take your mind off you and think of someone else
- Ask how that person’s day is rather than harping on about your own. We can be so wrapped in ego. It’s easy to do and you may just be helping someone else relieve some of their stresses of the day just by listening.
- Look at passers by and offer a smile and /or a hello.This could make someone's day or week - you just don't know.
- Offer to help where ever you can. Could be cat-sitting for the neighbour or putting out the bins when they are on holiday, maybe volunteering for a charity - it puts everything into perspective
7. Exercise and be a team player
Exercise, especially when you’re involved a team sport, can really give you a big natural buzz.
Think you’re not that sporty? Trust me, there’s a sport for everyone. Some of the lesser known amateur sports team in the UK include baseball, softball, orienteering and table tennis.
You don’t have to be a gym bunny to join one of your local sports teams - it’s more about taking part and enjoying an active lifestyle.
Being part of a team or indulging in martial arts can help you naturally hone bundles of self-discipline and motivation. Plus, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet some new friends in your chosen sport - and they’ll fit beautifully into your incredible new sober lifestyle.
Dr Bunmi Aboaba
The Sober Advantage
Bunmi is a dedicated sober coach at The Sober Advantage. She helps professionals and entrepreneurs struggling or starting off their new sober lifestyle through coaching and companionship supported by energy therapies to maximize results. For a free no obligation consultation contact bunmi@the soberadvantage.com