After you've trudged through the divorce process, few things sound better than a long, relaxing vacation.
But who has the money for that after paying lawyer fees? Since most of us aren't financially secure enough to travel the world a la Eat, Pray, Love, we've round up nine ways to live your best life after divorce that cost nothing.
1. Make a point to jot down the little things that bring you joy.
After her divorce, reader Terri Shook took the time to count her blessings -- even if they were sometimes hard to find.
"I took time every day to appreciate something, even if it was just being grateful for the day being over," she said. "Some days were harder than others but I kept a running Facebook note and added to it every night. It helped me stay focused on the positive and on the days when nothing seemed to be going right, it was a mental lifesaver."
2. Choose happiness.
For most of her marriage, writer Shelley Wetton put her own well-being and happiness on the back burner. After wallowing in her own post-split misery for "way too long," Wetton said two books helped her gain some much-needed perspective: The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama ("It taught me that happiness resided within me all along") and The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion's memoir chronicling the death of her husband and the grave health problems her daughter faced around the same time.
"I was reminded of how blessed I was despite divorce," she said. "My child and I were healthy and I had a career I loved. Changing perspective costs nothing but the time to reflect and find gratitude."
3. Watch a horror movie (or a rom-com or a historical drama -- whatever genre you're into).
When healing after divorce seemed damn near impossible, Craig Tomashoff grabbed a glass of Chianti and called in moral support in the form of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers.
4. Give meditation a chance.
In the wake of her divorce, writer Carolyn Flower devoted 30 minutes every morning to meditation and journaling. Looking back now, she said the practice was her "lifeline."
"I was able to identify solutions to challenges from within," she said. "I made this commitment to myself which turned out to be a beautiful gift. The more I recognized the many aspects in my life I was grateful for, the more things showed up for which to be grateful! Gratitude is contagious."
5. Take a long, hot bath.
Karin Schott's perfect post-split therapy? The ritual of a nightly bath: filling the tub with hot water, pouring in bath oils and turning on some Joni Mitchell or Van Morrison to set the mood.
"For me, it's all about returning to my body," she said. "I can go out running but that can be hard on my body. I can walk but I find I can be too much in my head, chewing on things that I should just spit out. But the bath is a way to relax and be kind to myself for the cost of a little hot water. It was always the friend waiting for me at the end of a difficult day.”
6. Pencil in some time with friends.
Reaching out to friends who knew you before you married your ex will remind you that there's life outside of marriage. But it's also important to find friends who are experiencing divorce themselves, said reader Amy Kathleen Nordmeyer.
"I joined the girls' night out group sponsored for free by my attorney's law firm in Virginia Beach, Virginia," said Nordmeyer. "It was a monthly event -- and out of that group some of us formed our own secret group that hangs out together as well. It's great."
7. Go for a run.
Anne-Marie Feliks Paddock admitted running was never her exercise of choice. She found it slow going and figured she wasn't cut out for it physically. But something changed after her divorce.
"I decided to do something I didn't believe I could -- running," she said. "It proved to me and continues to prove to me that I am more than I think I am and helps me develop self-esteem. I run for me: to beat myself and to keep conquering my fears."
8. Date yourself.
Can't get a date? Who needs one! After her separation, divorce coach Lindsey Ellison said she looked forward to her weekly date nights all by her not-so-lonesome. Sometimes, her solo date was simply cracking open a bottle of champagne and ordering sushi but it went a long way in helping her heal, she said.
"When you get used to spending time with just yourself, you will no longer feel the urge to run out and potentially meet the wrong person," she said. "And when you do meet someone, you will be so secure with who you are you won’t care if they come or go because you are having such a good time with yourself."
9. Smile.
Yes, it may sound deceptively simple but reader Kristienne Michelle said making a conscious effort to smile more often helped her heal.
"I just smiled: When I felt sad, when I felt angry, when I was bored, when I was confused, I chose to smile," she said. "Sometimes I smiled while tears fell. But I smiled. Eventually, the smile felt genuine and I was smiling because I was happy more than I was sad, angry or confused."
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