As the year comes to an end, people are going to be thinking about things like Thanksgiving.
New year's resolutions.
All the stuff that people think about... that’s just around the corner.
But right now, I am going to give you something that I've been thinking about as of late. And it’s probably not something that’s crossed your mind this whole year...
Is Chivalry Dead?
I thought about this the other day, on an average normal Wednesday in Los Angeles.
I picked my daughter up from her mother's house.
I got out of the car.
My daughter was wearing this great vintage dress that we bought together. It was cute. It was a 70's Levy's dress and she looked all pretty. She put a little bit of lipstick on, barely any because she is just a kid.
Her hair was all teased out. I looked at her and I said, “You look so beautiful.”
Her mother looked at me and said, “Oh, it took her an extra 10 minutes to get ready today because she didn't know if she was going to wear her pirate shirt and her shorts or this dress.”
And I thought to myself at that moment, here is a beautiful seven year old little girl that got dressed up to spend the day with her daddy.
I got out of the car to acknowledge that, to be chivalrous to my amazing daughter.
I also noticed something else that I do on a regular basis with my daughter: I am always opening the car door for her. She is old enough to get in on her own, but I am opening it for her.
Why? Because that's what a man should do.
A man should open up a car door for a woman. A man should get out of the car when a woman gets dressed up for him and tell her that she looks absolutely fantastic.
It's Called Chivalry... And Yet, In 2017, It’s All But Dead
In the age of swipe dating, online dating and ghosting one another after five minutes of dating, we've really lost all chivalry.
Men wait for women to contact them.
Men wait for women to text them first.
Men wait for women to ask them out or give all the signs.
When a man meets a woman for the very, very first time, he is sitting at a coffee shop or a bar. He doesn't even get up when she walks in. He doesn't give her a hug or even a hand shake.
He just sits there and allows her to come.
When she gets up to go to the bathroom, he doesn't pull her chair out.
The list can go on and on.
Whenever I am out and about, I don't see men being chivalrous anymore at all.
And chivalry doesn’t need to be bending over backwards at every moment. It’s simple little things, like when a woman invites a man over for dinner, the man just shows up with something. A bottle of wine, a bundt cake, anything.
Chivalry is Something That Every Single Child Should Learn at a Young Age
Not only young boys who will grow up to be men, but young girls who will grow up to be women.
Fathers should be teaching chivalry to their daughters so their daughters will expect men to act as men instead of acting like self-entitled barbarians.
But in an age when most people are Internet dating, nobody even knows the person. So when we go, we don't actually go and pick somebody up anymore, God forbid.
I teach my daughter chivalry all the time so she can expect how men should treat her.
Fathers should be teaching their daughters what a man should be all about.
A man should be chivalrous.
Treat your daughter as if you are actually dating her. Treat your daughter as if a future guy was dating her. Show her how men are supposed to be. Open the car door for your daughter, hold her hand when you walk across the street, make her feel safe and protected.
Put your arm around her so she feels safe and protected when scary strangers walk over. Teach her that she deserves to be protected and deserves to be around a chivalrous man.
All you mothers out there, start showing your sons what chivalry is all about.
Chivalry Should NOT Be Dead Just Because We've Gotten Lazy
Just because we decided to swipe and type our way to romance doesn't mean that a man should do the above things when he meets a woman for the very first time.
There is no reason for us to continue to act like barbarians when we date.
Open the door and let her walk through first. Put you hand on the small of her back as she walks through. Hold her hand when she walks across the street. Make her feel safe and secure and protected.
Because this is what seems to be missing in modern dating. Women are always complaining non-stop to me that they don't feel safe, seen, heard and protected.
And that all starts with simple little things like chivalry.
Chivalry has died, but it's time to bring it back. Otherwise, there are going to be a bunch of sword-necked, crunch-necked, hunched over people staring at their phones 24/7, just expecting romance to pop out of the phone.
Chivalry needs a come back. And this time, let’s make it here to stay.