A Definitive Analysis Of Donald Trump's Handshake

02/22/2017 05:05 pm ET Updated Feb 22, 2017
CNN

President Trump is a mediocre businessman, but he’ll tell you that he’s the best businessman and there’s no better businessman than him. Businessmen need to shake a lot of hands. It’s one of the best ways to seal a deal and we all know who wrote the definitive book on business: Donald Trump. While we’re not sure if there’s an entire chapter dedicated to handshakes in The Art of The Deal, it does look like President Trump has it on lock.

Honestly just take a moment the next time you see a Trump handshake and watch him pull people in with a strong and firm embrace. It’s been nicknamed the “clasp and yank.” It might sound like a sex move but it’s really just a strategic maneuver that shows a man in complete control.

It’s a good thing he’s got that handshake on lock because most of the other times he’s in front of a camera he’s not in control. So much so that it could be easy to assume the only thing Donald Trump knows how to do right is shake hands. He certainly doesn’t know how to speak to the public. He certainly doesn’t know how to deal with the media. And he certainly doesn’t know what’s beneath his sad sack of a gut (hint: it’s his penis.)

Anyway, we digress. Ozzy Man Reviews is here to give Donald Trump’s vice-grip handshake a definitive analysis that is sure to make you cringe with laughter. Let’s all take a moment and laugh at the President together. God knows most of us need it.

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