A Non-American's Pocket Guide to Understanding Trump Voters


Many people who are not from the United States are confused about why so many of their fellow human beings like Donald Trump enough to make him the leader of the free world. The following is a handy way to decipher the most common phrases used by Trump voters to justify their support.

He Is a Man's Man - Also known as the Alpha Male. Translations:

1. I admire men who date and marry hot women.
2. Real men think Brexit is a type of biscuit.
3. I need my president to be tall.
4. Spray tanning with a shower cap and disposable flip flops is manly.
5. Tweets with exclamation points are masculine to me.

He Tells It Like It Is - The most often cited reason for liking Trump. Translations:

1. Trump makes it okay for me to make racist jokes.
2. I like watching car crashes.
3. I do not care if someone lies to me as long as I am not bored.
4. Temper tantrums are fun to watch.
5. I am tired of being judged for saying stupid things.

I Am Over Political Correctness - A Variation on He Tells It Like It Is. Translations:

1. Trump makes it okay for me to joke about women's boobs.
2. I like blaming immigrants for my failures.
3. I hate the Mainstream Media because Rush Limbaugh told me I should.
4. I am scared of people who are not white.
5. I think Columbia and Mexico are the same thing.

America Needs a Business Man - Also known as The Money Shot. Translations:

1. I believe that Trump is a successful billionaire.
2. I like my president to owe millions of dollars to foreign banks.
3. I want a president who understands bankruptcy.
4. I would vote for a Goldendoodle if he promised to lower my taxes.
5. I still believe Trump is a billionaire.

Trump Will Make America Great Again - Also known as Take Back Our Country. Translations:

1. I miss my Confederate flag.
2. Whining about reporters makes someone look strong.
3. Presidents are not supposed to be black.
4. I am in denial that Trump has lied to veterans.
5. I think America is a football team.

Hope this clears it up a bit for you. Good luck to all of us.