I’m writing this from the edge of the apocalypse. It’s January 20th. Maybe when you read it we will already be in the dark. If so: Hi, I’m scared too. You can hold my hand.
This is the end of the America as we know and have loved her. In all her flaws and failures and triumphs and glory. She has not been perfect, but I did have high hopes for her future… maybe someday I will again.
She was sold to the highest bidder, which appears to be Russia, but I fear might actually have been American people drinking that old dangerous cocktail of hatred and fear. (The fake news flavored vodka mixer was still 100% Russian)
So how do we survive the apocalypse?
Well, first of all, we join together. And then… we get loud.
They voted to silence us, destroy us, and even to kill some of us. (Make no mistake, not all of us will survive… and that breaks my heart) So we have no choice but to bite back. HARD.
So I vow to lace up my combat boots and throw on the glitter war paint of my LGBTQ people. And to exist.
We have a fight. The fight of our lives. The fight for our lives.
I may go down in this fight but if I do… I will go down existing.
I will be seen and I will be heard.
I am here, I am queer and I don’t want anyone to get used to anything because this is NOT OKAY.
I will call every representative. I will write essays and letters and protest signs. I will be loud in the streets. I will be loud online. I will continue to make art and create beauty and laughter in dark times. I will stop bigotry wherever and whenever I see it. I will not be working to make anyone comfortable anymore.
I did that for way too long. This is not the time for respectability politics. It was never the time for respectability politics. It is time to be in-your-face.
As I’ve said before, I spent a long time trying to make sure people were comfortable. Being a good, sweet, friendly, just-like-you lesbian.
And you know what? That was a form of apology. One I am no longer okay making. “I’m sorry I exist. I’m sorry I’m different. I’m sorry my difference makes you feel awkward, uncomfortable, challenged or icky.”
NO. I do not owe anyone that. I never did.
I do not have to apologize for breathing. For loving. For existing. For taking up my tiny plot of oxygen on this planet that I am working so hard, fighting so hard to make a better safer, place for all of us.
Besides, making myself small didn’t work, anyway. It didn’t change anyone’s mind or make anyone love me more. It just made me quieter and more compliant.
So, if you are the kind of person who thinks sexuality should exist in a closet, that Black Lives don’t Matter, that a certain religion is the basis for excluding someone from their rights… it’s your turn apologize. For daring to think you get any say in the right of other humans to exist.
Meanwhile, I’ll be here. Fighting for me, for my family, for my daughter, for my niece and nephews. For my LGBTQ community. For people of color, for women, for people with disabilities (and against a so-called President who mocks them), for people to practice whatever faith they want whenever and wherever they wish to worship, for those of us without faith to have the right not to have other religious beliefs imposed upon us, for children with disabilities to get access to education, (because for some reason some people think that is up for debate?!) For ALL people to have access to healthcare. For the arts to keep and have funding, for the planet to continue to exist in the future for our kids. For us ALL to have access to clean water and clean air.
I am gonna fight for ALL of it and I don’t care who gets uncomfortable along the way. Nothing great can happen when people are comfortable, so get ready because I am here to agitate. I am here to keep my millions of brothers and sisters who feel the same way I do active and enraged. To continue to shout “THIS IS NOT OKAY” over and over until we drown the hatred out.
I will not be silenced. But you can try… just know that even if you succeed, millions of voices will continue to carry on without me.
Because there are more of us. And this is war.