I have read that physical touch is one of five ways people communicate and receive emotional love. It is also stated just reaching out and taking someone's hand can be the beginning of a journey. For me holding hands was the most tender moments that my mother and I shared during my month long visit.
As our fingers were intertwined like never before, as we held each other's hands, it felt to me as if I never wanted to let go. It was at that very moment that I became aware of how meaningful human touch was with my mother. Mom's fingers spoke words to me. They told me how much she loved me as I felt her warmth and tenderness like never before.
Every once in a while she'd open her eyes, look at me, squeeze my hand and smile. How I yearned to know what she was thinking, although on this day most of her words remained silent. Suffering for twelve years, Alzheimer's disease has been removing her use of language.
On this particular day as I played some of mom's favorite music she held my hand tightly as she either hummed along or softly spoke a few words to let me know how beautiful the music was. Heavens doors seemed to open as we listened to Susan Boyles sing "I Dreamed A Dream", Andre Bocelli and Pachelbel Canon in D major.
We held each other's hands for hours as if we were young lovers. Yet this was different it was my mother that I was touching. We needed no words, just holding hands said it all. We both held on so tenderly as if never wanting to let go. Each day thereafter I hungered for my mother's touch, meaning more to me than I could have ever imagined.
I am now back in New York while mom remains in Florida. Not only do I miss her deeply I very much miss the caressing of our hands. I miss her touch, her warmth her tenderness which filled my heart with love.
What does the human touch mean to you? Is it feeling the warmth and caring of another human being? Or is it perhaps feeling loved? Is it embracing another person?
Whatever it means to you, for me, it was an intimacy so different than one that I could have ever dreamed I would be able to share with my mother. It is for me a love that has come full circle and now is complete.
Lisa Hirsch is a popular blogger with a worldwide audience. She had a long, successful career in the fashion industry and had numerous articles published in the US, the UK, and Canada. Her book, My Mom My Hero, is available on Amazon.