HUFFPOST FINDS
01/24/2018 03:42 pm ET

33 Anti-Valentine's Day Gifts For People Who Despise Valentine's Day

"Did you fall from heaven? Because so did Satan." 💘💋

The world is full of realists and romantics. Romantics get one day a year to indulge their sentimental sides with candy hearts, long-stemmed roses, giant teddy bears and other cheesy gifts.

Unfortunately, there’s no Realist Appreciation Day, but anti-Valentine’s Day gifts come pretty darn close to the spirit. That’s why we’ve rounded up some painfully-accurate, too-real gifts to give the folks in your life who really don’t want to be caught in Cupid’s line of fire.

Below are 33 anti-Valentine’s Day gifts perfect for people who despise Valentine’s Day: 

  • 1 "Happy Capitalistic Couple's Day" card
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/498049502/anti-valentines-card-grey-anti?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_search_ty
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 2 Mediocre Valentines
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/587542195/mediocre-valentines-anti-valentines-day?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 3 Carbs shirt
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/569755590/carbs-funny-shirt-valentines-day-shirt?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_s
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 4 Nope stamped ring
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/489824024/nope-handstamped-stackable-ring-mantra?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_s
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 5 Anti-Valentine's Day Conversation Hearts banner
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/261262574/conversation-hearts-anti-valentines-day?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 6 Anatomical Human Heart pin
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/294420229/anatomical-heart-enamel-pin-badge?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_search
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 7 "These Taste Terrible" Anti V-Day card
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/492719248/these-taste-terrible-valentine-card?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_sear
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 8 "Only Cats" temporary tattoo
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/572315514/anti-valentines-day-temporary-tattoo-no?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 9 Conversation Hearts t-shirt
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/569210392/valentines-day-shirt-conversation-hearts?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 10 "Nope" candy heart coffee mug
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/264627297/gift-best-friend-mug-valentines-gift?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_sea
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 11 Happy "Manipulating People To Spend Money To Prove Love With Shallow Romantic Gesture" Day card
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/497079474/shallow-romantic-gesture-funny-anti?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_sear
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 12 Anti-Valentine's Day cookies
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/507325653/anti-valentines-day-cookies-anti-vday?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_se
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 13 "Vodka Is My Valentine" card
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/580064951/vodka-valentine-anti-valentines-day?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_sear
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 14 "Drop Dead" phone case
    Get it <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B075NT7DTZ/ref=s9_dcacsd_dcoop_bw_c_x_3_w?tag=thehuffingtop-20" target="_bl
    Amazon
    Get it here
  • 15 "Not Today, Satan" instant download wall art
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/563957165/not-today-satan-wall-art-funny-gifts-for?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 16 "Nah, I'm Good" Anti-Valentine's Day soap
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/573851662/nah-im-good-anti-valentines-day-felted?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_s
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 17 "V Is For Vodka" t-shirt
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/264710620/womens-v-is-for-vodka-not-valentines?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_sea
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 18 "Fuck Valentines" banner
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/579922197/fuck-valentines-day-banner-fuck?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_search_t
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 19 "Love Bites" sweatshirt
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/489073228/adult-valentine-shirt-funny-valentines?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_s
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 20 Anti-Valentine's Day candy hearts mug
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/486648056/candy-hearts-anti-valentines-day-funny?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_s
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 21 "Love Blah Blah Blah Drink" tank
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/568958152/love-blah-blah-blah-drink-funny?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_search_t
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 22 "So Did Satan" coffee mug
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/583549283/anti-valentinesarcastic-mug-anti?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_search_
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 23 "Anti V-Day" temporary tattoo
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/586115493/anti-valentines-day-temporary-tattoo-no?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 24 Anti-Valentine's Day stickers
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/572439033/anti-valentines-day-gift-decorative?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_sear
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 25 "If You See Cupid" card
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/586548727/anti-valentine-day-card-funny-love-card?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 26 Anatomical human heart necklace
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/183317047/gold-anatomical-heart-necklace-heart?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_sea
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 27 "Valentines Schmalentines" button pin
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/89760027/valentines-schmalentines-anti-valentine?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_s
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 28 "Nope" name plate
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/483959172/nope-office-desk-name-plate-funny-office?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 29 Anti-Valentine's Day candy heart necklace
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/91890981/anti-valentines-day-gift-candy-heart" target="_blank">here</a>.&nbsp;
    Etsy
    Get it here
  • 30 "I Love That We Hate The Same Things" card
    Get it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/219824065/funny-valentines-day-card-funny?ga_order=most_relevant&amp;ga_search_t
    Etsy
    Get it here

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