What words of wisdom do you have for people who are going through grief or hardship? originally appeared on Quora - the place to gain and share knowledge, empowering people to learn from others and better understand the world..
What words of wisdom do you have for people who are going through grief or hardship? Thank you for the tenderness of this question. Here are a few, I hope helpful thoughts.
First, you are not alone, even though every one puts their best face forward on social media and even in human interactions, everyone knows about loss. There is a huge benefit in the element of faith, in a God who is good all the time and present to my losses.
Second, simplify. We get overwhelmed by the complexity of our losses, all the questions, and are tempted to start 'future tripping' - imagining a future that is dominated by loss and things never change. It is not real but seems real to us. Simplify and reduce the world to only today and stay inside the grace of this one day. Tomorrow you will get grace for whatever it actually holds and not what you have imagined.
Third, let people in. We are not designed to try and make our way alone through loss. Healing comes through community and relationship.
Fourth, be willing to let the loss go. This is a cost that some are not willing to pay. The loss becomes an identity and sometimes a prison that we begin to call a sanctuary.
Fifth, but (in light of the last suggestion), grieve and lament well. Throw the apples against the barn door with all your might and scream. Don't suppress the presence of the wounds of loss. The way out is in and through.
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