Blair Out! Sarkozy In! The Changing of The Poodles!

Just as Tony Blair heads for the Royal Home for Retired Bush-Poodles, here comes Nicky Sarkozy, pom-poms all fluffed and perfumed, stepping high to fill Tony's dainty doggie-booties.
05/07/2007 06:50 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Just as Tony Blair heads for the Royal Home for Retired Bush-Poodles, here comes Nicky Sarkozy, pom-poms all fluffed and perfumed, stepping high to fill Tony's dainty doggie-booties.

Difference is that poodles being (I believe) an indigenous French breed, we'll be getting yapping even more frantic, butt-sniffing even more craven, doggie-tricks even more elaborate than we ever got from cool-Britannia Tony. The dewlaps of Sarko's neo-fascist owners in Washington must be drooling buckets at the hoops they're going to put their new pet through:

Sit, Nicky, sit! Attaboy! Roll over Nicky! Awright! Isn't he just too cute? Play dead Nicky! Play dead I said! Good boy! Here's your Chewy.

Yup, just as we're getting ready to dump and punish the hideous criminals who've disgraced our executive for the last six years, the cheese-eating flunkeys of the French right have decided to start kowtowing to them.

Way to go cheese-eating flunkeys. Always in the avant-garde! So far ahead of us lumbering, dumpy Anglo-Saxon progressives. What impeccable political timing you display! What crystalline logic!

So perfectly logical to support a child of immigrants who proposes to repress, imprison and deport the children of immigrants, whose parents have frequently been French much longer than his. Ouais, bien logique! So admirably color-blind to encourage the conclusion that this must be because Sarko's (uppercrust, Hungarian) parents are white, while those of the French citizens he spits on, are not.

Apropos: how independent, how European, how free-thinking, how very third-way of vous les francais to vote for a candidate whose appeal, like that of the last three Republican occupants of the White House, is, once all the fiscal and patriotic clap-trap has been stripped away, naked racism. How forward-looking of you, how future-oriented! Please, please whenever you get the chance, berate us for our naked racism, for our inhumane treatment of, and attitudes towards, say, immigrants. We can learn from your clarity of vision, o cheese-eating flunkeys, your purity of motive, your matchless integrity.

Vive la Republique Sarkozienne! A Republic in which our own Republicans are going to have heaps of fun, now they have a poodle in place. Poodles after all, are very intelligent. Very easy to train. Righties are already dreaming of a 'new revolution' (Such a clever turn of phrase! Because the French had a revolution once before, you see, except it was of the people against the ruling class not vice versa, so maybe that doesn't quite work...? Eh bien, pas grave!).

In the never-never land that is the right-wing vision of Europe's future, others are chattering breathlessly about the end of socialism, (that would be the socialism that was long ago incorporated into Europe's DNA). Still others are envisioning the end of the 35-hour week, or the end of the unions or the end of one of finest health-care programs in the world, and ...oh...a dozen other crazy end-of dreams. Not things their poodle has the slightest hope of doing anything about, but who cares?

Nothing the neo-fascists say about France or Europe has anything to do with the actual reality of those places. It has only to do with boosting their prophetic bona fides and thus increasing their clout and credibility within these continental United States. When their attention turns elsewhere because their poodle will have been unable to say privatize the superb French rail-system so that their corporate buddies can strip profits and assets from it, they'll lose interest. Their poodle will be booted out into the night the way all foreign poodles are sooner or later. (Hey way back when, even Saddam was one of their poodles).

But of course poor little Nicky doesn't know that... yet. Let's not spoil his moment in the sun:
Sit, Nicky, sit! Attaboy! Roll over Nicky! Awwww -- ain't he cute? Play dead Nicky! Good boy! Got it first time this time! Good doggie!