Bounce Back from those "Adulting" Blues and Create a Life You Love in 4 steps

09/01/2016 09:35 am ET

If you’re anything like me, you knew exactly how your life was supposed to turn out. The nice house, nice cars, nice career, nice husband, and everything else that would come together to form the picture perfect life…

Then one day you looked around and your reality hit you square in the face like a ton of bricks. The amazing life you’d planned for yourself was a distant memory and your actual life consisted of alarm clocks that go off too early, Mondays that make you hate everything, and the overall conclusion that adulting is way overrated and nothing like you were led to believe it would be.

I was there. I had my dream life mapped out. It involved stilettos, being a fierce businesswoman, making lots of bank, traveling the world, and having tons of time to hang out with my friends and family.

A few years ago, that dream seemed so far out of reach that it began feeling like a fairytale… way too good to happen in real life. I found myself doing soul crushing work, living for the weekends, struggling to distance myself from student loans, and lamenting any day that wasn’t Friday or Saturday.

Fortunately, I got tired and suffered what some may call a temporary moment of insanity. I quit my job and decided to try recreating my fairytale. It was the scariest, hardest, and most awesome thing I’ve ever done.

If you’re ready to leave behind your less-than-lovely reality and transform it into a fairytale fit for a queen (or king), here are 4 things you need to do ASAP: 

  1. Redefine your fairytale by getting clear about what you really want and why you want it. As you think about your dream life, think about what you want and the why behind your wants. For example, most people say that making more money will bring them closer to their dream life. The question is, “why?” Why do you want more money? The answer to that question usually reveals your deeper desire and when you fulfill that desire, you’ll feel satisfied. For example, I used to think making a lot of money would make me happy. I landed a great job at one of the top tech giants in the world and made good money, but I was miserable. Initially I couldn’t understand why, but after devouring a pint of cookies and cream ice cream while doing some serious soul searching, I found the answer. I realized that what I really wanted was freedom, not just money. In my job I had the money, but lacked the time to enjoy it. As you do some digging into your whys you’ll come up with a plan that gives you what you really truly desir.

  2. Uplevel your circle now. Jim Rohn said, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Who are you spending your time with? The hard truth is that upleveling your life will also require you to uplevel your circle. Surround yourself with the people who are doing what you want to do. Expand your circle to include people you can learn from, people who will challenge you, and people who will encourage you to step out of your comfort zone. I’m not saying that you have to drop your current friends, but you do need to expand your crew to include people who will help you reach the next level in your life.

  3. Invest in yourself. One of the easiest ways to avoid making a ton of mistakes is to invest in yourself. Refusing to do so is the ultimate rookie mistake and one that I’ve made. After stumbling and struggling through entrepreneurship on my own, I finally invested in a coach and immediately saw huge shifts in my business and mindset. Invest in a coach, educational resources, personal development tools, or anything else that will help you reach your goal faster.

  4. Just start. The easiest way to find out if something will work is to just do it. Plain and simple. You won’t get it right all the time, you’ll make a few mistakes, and you’ll get knocked down. This is probably not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. The good news is that you’ve made mistakes before, you’ve gotten knocked down and gotten back up, and through it all you’re still here. My point is, life goes on. You will get up, you will learn from your mistakes, and you will use those lessons as stepping stones to move further. 

Whatever your fairytale, whatever dream you’ve buried in your heart, I think it’s about time you resurrect it and recreate it. The life of your dreams is waiting on you, and the only way you’ll know if it’s really possible, is to take the first step and go for it.


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