I am tired of seeing books, articles and blog posts written for women as if we are all full of fear, can't say no and wish only for life balance.
It's time to acknowledge that there are many of us who are clearly assertive without being abrasive and take on too much work for the love of it. We get bored if our plate isn't full of new and exciting challenges. We don't sacrifice our family but we don't sacrifice our careers either. We wish people would quit questioning our decisions and just get on board with our ideas.
Our challenges and desires differ from the standard fare addressed by the popular media.
I think Maria Shriver was right in declaring there to be A Quiet Revolution going on. Women are gaining power in the workforce, we are earning more degrees than men we outnumber men as entrepreneurs and many of us have taken on the role of breadwinner at home. However, Shriver didn't look at what is changing in the psyche of the women themselves. This revolution is resulting in an emerging identity of women worldwide.
As women become more self-sufficient and knowledgeable, they are demanding more from their work, their relationships and from life itself. In a recent blog post by Chris Brogan, he said that if he asked 100 women what they wanted from work, he would get 70 to 80 different answers on their career aspirations. In my doctoral research, I did ask 100 strong, smart women what they wanted from work. Although the type of work they prefer might be different, what they want out of work is similar.
The question of being a leader or not was not the biggest issue on their mind. More than titles and money, they want motion and meaning. They love having frequent new challenges to conquer -- ones that make them feel significant or give them a sound sense of purpose. However, this desire fuels their restlessness as they constantly need to find "something more" in their lives.
I have taken my research and life work to write the first personal development book aimed at strong, ambitious women, Wander Woman: How High-Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction (Berrett-Koehler, June 2010). Strong smart women working both inside and out of corporations, whether single or with families, will finally find guidance they seek.
My publisher was skeptical about the marketplace for the book early on, claiming I was only talking to a small tribe of women. I argued that we do not represent a tribe but the evolution of women. Everywhere I travel to speak, women tell me I have described them like no one has. They thought their restlessness and discontent was unusual, even wrong. Now they see that thousands, maybe millions of women from China to Chile, Amsterdam to Australia, Russia to the UK and across North America are of like mind.
The next step is to align our voices. In a previous post, I talked about creating a positive conspiracy for change to support your personal development. We can take this to a higher level to create the changes that meet our needs at work and in the world.
If you work for someone else, check out the post:"What Women Want...At Work" and let your leaders know what you need to feel fulfilled at work. If you work for yourself, keep speaking your mind.
The world is in an amazing state of transformation. I believe that many women will rise up with strong voices out of this darkness, whether they want to lead countries, companies or just their families.
Please comment with your thoughts. Let me know if you think there is an emerging identity of women or if I am just talking about a few tough women who choose to lead the way.
Marcia Reynolds, PsyD teaches classes on leadership internationally. Her new book, Wander Woman, will be launched June 14th.