I wrote a confession earlier this week. But it was about terrorism and violence and death... which turned out not to be funny -- even considering my admittedly low standards for humor. So that post went up on my other blog.
My less soul-wrenching confession for this week is that there are cobwebs on my front porch. I don't mean a few wisps in the upper corners. We're talking thick, matted cobwebs in the upper and lower corners as well as mid-level cobwebs in places I didn't even know cobwebs would form. There is enough webby fiber on my porch to knit a family set of ugly Christmas sweaters -- were I so inclined... and if I knew how to knit.
In my defense, we just moved here in August. And you can understand that when you move to a new house one has other priorities besides sweeping away cobwebs. Like organizing the kitchen items. And covering the bare electrical wires resting against the insulation in the attic. And putting up a clothesline. And taking down the clothesline because the neighbor says it's her fence and your heavy clothes are going to pull it down. (Which seemed whiny but turned out to be a good call because the last strong wind that came through blew the neighbor's fence to the ground and they can't blame it on our inexplicably heavy underwear.)
So, you know, stuff comes up when you first move in. A few cobwebs on the porch didn't seem like such a big deal. (Especially when we usually go in and out the garage door anyway.)
By late September, I probably could have found three spare minutes to sweep. But it was almost October. People go out and buy cobwebs to put on their porches in October, so why not keep my freebies in place?
During the move, three pairs of my youngest daughter's shoes ended up on the front porch as well. (I think they are too small, but I need to confirm this before I get rid of them.) The cobwebs took over the shoes, which looked impressively creepy: three small pairs of abandoned shoes... and where are the children? Maybe they are trapped inside the spooky cobweb house! Mwahaha.
So I was good all through October. But I honestly can't think of a legitimate reason to keep the cobwebs on my porch for Thanksgiving. Could they pass as snowy Christmas décor if I knocked them all down into a big pile? Maybe.
But I should probably just sweep my dang porch. Which I will have time to do if I don't proofread this post. So pardon my typos and rest assured that by Thanksgiving -- or at least by Christmas... the New Year's party at the latest -- my porch will be cobweb-free.