Many Americans were incredulous to hear Fox News' resident expert on psychiatry -- and on conspiracy theory -- Dr. Keith Ablow claim that President Obama is using the World Cup to distract Americans at "a time when there are so many national and international issues of such prominence."
But it took Stephen Colbert to examine the conspiracy theory of Fox News' Keith Ablow and to confirm Ablow's theory by rhetorically (and mockingly) asking on his show, "How often does Barack Obama run for president? Every four years. How often is there a World Cup? Every four years."
And if Americans were still not convinced of the liberal soccer and World Cup conspiracy and of how un-American, subversive and unpatriotic soccer is -- the growing interest in the sport being "a sign of the nation's moral decay" -- they just had to read the nine-point manifesto by another expert on the American psyche, Ann Coulter.
Among Coulter's most brilliant points:
There is no accountability in soccer, little self-expression, not much prospect for personal humiliation, for personal disgrace or major injury ("After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box") and, God forbid, girls can play with boys in soccer. For all these reasons, Liberal moms -- "soccer moms" -- love this sport, Coulter suggests.
Coulter buttresses her warning that the growing interest in soccer is a sign of our nation's moral decay with the facts that soccer "is foreign... the French like it," it is "like the metric system" and, worst of all, "You can't use your hands in soccer."
But Coulter saves her most eloquent and compelling point, and hope, for last:
If more 'Americans' are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch affected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.
Keith Ablow and Ann Coulter are not the first to warn Americans about the growing evil influence and moral decay represented by that fureign game of soccer and, every four years, by that pagan, un-American spectacle, the so-called World Cup.
As the 2010 World Cup began in South Africa, conservative media figures attacked the tournament, soccer and used them as "a proxy to attack President Obama and progressives."
Courtesy Mediamatters.org, June 11, 2010, by Oliver Willis:
Glenn Beck: "Barack Obama's policies are the World Cup." In an extensive rant on the June 11 Glenn Beck Program, Beck purported to explain how President Obama's policies "are the World Cup" of "political thought." Beck stated, "It doesn't matter how you try to sell it to us, it doesn't matter how many celebrities you get, it doesn't matter how many bars open early, it doesn't matter how many beer commercials they run, we don't want the World Cup, we don't like the World Cup, we don't like soccer, we want nothing to do with it." Beck stated that likewise, "the rest of the world likes Barack Obama's policies, we do not."
Beck added "those who like the World Cup... they're the most likely to riot," commenting that by contrast, "I haven't seen the baseball riots." He later said of soccer, "I hate it so much, probably because the rest of the world likes it so much, and they riot over it, and they continually try to jam it down our throat."
G. Gordon Liddy: "Whatever happened to American exceptionalism?" Discussing soccer's popularity in the U.S. on his June 10 program, G. Gordon Liddy asked, "Whatever happened to American exceptionalism?" Liddy noted that "this game... originated with the South American Indians and instead of a ball, they used to use the head, the decapitated head, of an enemy warrior."
MRC's Dan Gainor: Also on the June 10 G. Gordon Liddy Show, Media Research Center's Dan Gainor said, "the problem here is, soccer is designed as a poor man or poor woman's sport" and that "the left is pushing it in schools across the country." He added: "generally football games in this country don't devolve into riots or wars." He later added that the sport of soccer "is being sold" as necessary due to the "browning of America."
Read more here.
And please read Paul Vale's point-by-point rebuttal of Coulter's silly manifesto here, and root and wave those American flags for Team USA playing against Belgium on Tuesday -- the team that according to Coulter, represents "a sign of the nation's moral decay."
Prove her wrong!