Doug's Dozen: 12 Patriotic Quotes For A Donald Trump Speech

05/18/2017 04:02 am ET Updated May 18, 2017
Kevin Lamarque / Reuters

Donald Trump gave the commencement speech to Coast Guard graduates. He said, “Look at the way I’ve been treated lately, especially by the media. No politician in history...has been treated worse or more unfairly.” It was an inspiring speech, assuming the idea was to inspire pity rather than patriotism. But I think we need to hear more personal emotion from Trump, so here are...

Doug’s Dozen: 12 Patriotic Quotes for a Donald Trump Speech

1. “Ask not what I can do for your country...ask what the hell your country is doing to me!”

2. “We have nothing to fear, but free press itself.”

3. “I have not yet begun to whine.”

4. “Give me lip-service, or give media death!”

5. “All men are created equal...with certain unalienable rights...Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Pussy-grabs.”

6. “Damn the torpedoes...on that woman are amazing!”

7. “Millions to settle suits, but not one cent for taxes!”

8. “Remember the A la Mode, on the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen.”

9. “Mr. Gorbachev, don’t stare at my Wall!”

10. “Speak loudly and carry a small stick...so your hands look big.”

11. “The buck stops here, where we launder it back into rubles.”

12. “Government of the pee-pee, by the pee-pee, and for the pee-pee...”

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“You couldn’t ask for a finer guide to the future - or the past - than Doug Molitor. Having so thoroughly enjoyed his ‘Memoirs of a Time Traveler,’ the next book I read is, without a doubt going to be his ‘Memoirs of a Time Traveler’ again.” ― Larry Gelbart (M*A*S*H, Tootsie, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum)

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