When one discusses "moving violations" on Manhattan's busy streets, it's assumed the reference is to traffic offenses by drivers of cars, trucks, and other internal combustion-type vehicles. But it's time to expand this definition to include another entire group of "moving" offenders: errant pedestrians.
I came up with this idea during a three block walk I took in Midtown today. A brisk stroll that should have taken me no more than seven or eight minutes took more like.... I don't know, eight or nine. Why the spirit-crushing delay? Because my pace was slowed over and over again by negligent pedestrians. For some time now I've been cataloguing the most frequently-seen types of ped-offenders, and that minute I lost on my walk today--a minute I'll never get back, by the way--has me thinking it's time to finally slap a label on these miscreants and begin to take back the sidewalks! Here's a list of the categories of people who, literally, cannot walk the walk:
---The Drifter - "East side, west side, all around the town" is a lovely lyric from one of the best New York songs ever. It is not, however, an instruction manual for walking on a perfectly straight sidewalk. When you're behind a Drifter, it's guaranteed that when you shift into your passing gear, he or she will gradually, almost imperceptibly, slide over just far enough to block your progress. When you're walking toward a Drifter, you have to be on your toes, because they'll force you right into a fire hydrant and never even know they did it.
---The Stopper - Stoppers stop. With no warning, they'll screech to a halt with no thought to the line of pedestrian traffic stretching behind them. I've seen some terrible collisions result from this. Just like with driving, pedestrians should maintain a speed that is appropriate to the (sidewalk) traffic conditions. Unfortunately, just like with driving, if you bump into a Stopper from the rear, it's always going to be your fault, even though everybody knows it's really not.
---The Abreasters - These are the groups of people who insist on walking three and four abreast down a sidewalk that's obviously only wide enough for two people to be side-by-side. Abreasters will advance along a sidewalk like street sweepers, obliterating all in their path, young, old, and infirm alike, then remain willfully oblivious to the carnage they leave in their wake.
---The Collider - Every minute in Manhattan, simultaneously at thousands of intersections, pedestrians coming out of a crosswalk must negotiate safe passages through other hordes of walkers meeting them in full walking speed at 90-degrees--a complex urban ballet of instinct and cooperation. But The Collider doesn't care about negotiating anything. He maintains his forward progress regardless of the poor pedestrians unlucky enough to cross his path. Beware The Collider; he is selfishness on the hoof, pure and simple.
I've often wondered if human beings in urban settings will ever evolve to have turn signals and brake lights on their bodies. Perhaps, but probably not in my lifetime. In the meantime, I hope this helps.