First Dates and Trump Tapes: Fighting the New Norm of Foreplay

10/12/2016 04:36 pm ET Updated Oct 13, 2017

Women Who Want Respect Do Not Want Trump

Whatever political side one chooses, it is plain to see that fear is a strong element in the psychology of both sides.  Those of us who use social media are seeing something that looks worryingly like civil war. But with his outwardly decaying dialogue on women's issues, it is clear that Trump just doesn't care.  His continual abuse is being rammed down our nation's throat. It's politics at its most ugly.

Sexual assault is a sensitive issue. As a self-described advocate for women, Trump's so called "locker room banter" should concern us all.

But the bigger question lurking over our heads is one we should ask ourselves: What do you want?

Do you ever sit down and ask yourself that question? Many of us would say, "I want health, or money, or love."  But how many of us would say, "I want to become President of the United States"?  What does it mean to lead a nation successfully?  

A leader must possess the power of thought and will to be given responsibility for the welfare of the country. A president who works hard is only successful if the work serves his or her fellow American.

From what his statements prove, a presidential Trump would fall into delusions; he would be disposed to play with our lives. 

Earlier today, I worked with a client named Elizabeth, who is a frequent user of online dating. She was left questioning her self-worth after a recent date. These are her words:

"I went on my first Bumble date on Friday. A nice successful music executive, 42 years old. About thirty minutes into the date he says, 'You want to kiss me, right? I get the feeling you want to kiss me.' I said, 'Nice try.'

"Because he had just showed me all these photos of his adorable four-year-old son, I wanted to believe he was actually a decent human and brushed it off.  After an hour he is walking me to my car as we talked about dating, he looks me dead in my face and says, 'I love pussy.'

"I took two steps back, put my hand on my chest and said, 'I don't think that's something you say on a first date.'

"He said, 'Oh come on, we're adults.'

"I mentioned Trump and the mind blowing thing he said about women in the Access Hollywood taped recording. He said, 'I don't think he's all that bad.'"

I listened intensely to her words, and secretly yearned for the day when Trump's horrible words will stop pervading everyday life. It saddened me to hear that shaming a woman's body may now be the new norm of foreplay.

Like many of us, I'm not prepared allow this to be the norm. Women have the right to respect, especially when it comes to something as personal as their bodies. If you agree, I urge you to reach out to knowledgeable and well-informed friends who will not vote out of fear, defiance, prejudice or fury, but rather out of a moral sense of what's right. Encourage them to vote with their heart and with their values.

I know this is a difficult time for some of us to decide which candidate best represents our values. But let's be smart when we check that ballot, and make our vote count toward making our future more prosperous and safe for women and men alike.


If there is a thread that unites all of our work, whether it's in Iowa or whether it's in Maryland or whether it's among our young men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan, I believe that it's the thread of human dignity. 
--Martin O'Malley

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Suzannah's work is about giving individuals (like you!) dynamic insight into what agonizes them most and offering breakthrough solutions. She offers instant, real-time solutions to what troubles her clients -- all delivered with a large shot of compassion. Schedule an Appointment Today.

Suzannah Galland is an internationally acclaimed life advisor and influencer for mindful living. Suzannah contributes invaluable Quick Insights to the Huffington Post blog, and writes regularly for Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop.com and Spread the Light for KORA Organics by Miranda Kerr. She has been featured on Harper's Bazaar, USA Today, Vogue, Los Angeles Magazine, Glamour, and Marie Claire U.K. Visit her website or follow her Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram for more Insights to Keep You in The Know.