If the thought of going on a first date doesn’t fill you dread, clearly, you have never been on a first date. The struggle to make conversation with a person you’ve just met (but who could be “the one”) is real.
Below, 26 hilarious tweets you’ll relate to if you have no game whatsoever right from the get-go ― or your dates never seem to, either.
[First Date]
— Comedic Bust (@ComedicBust) May 10, 2017
Me: You look nice.
Her: You have some marinara in your beard.
Me: Oh sorry, I must of spilled.
Her: But we just had drinks.
me after a glass of wine on the first date pic.twitter.com/TsoCb2GHf9
— Séamus Gallagher (@ShameusSeamus) November 5, 2016
*on a first date*
— scary spice ϯ (@traptits) May 4, 2017
Hostess: would you prefer a table or booth?
Them: Table.
Me: We're done here. pic.twitter.com/GfbzWE6dyV
{first date}
— Sufficent Charm (@SufficientCharm) June 24, 2015
Him: You look tense
Me: I'm so nervous
Him: Aw. Just be you
Me: IVE BEEN HOLDING IN A FART THAT MIGHT LAUNCH ME TO CANADA
*on a first date*
— Sarcasm (@TheFunnyTeens) May 6, 2017
ok dont let them know i stalked them online
them: my aunt--
me: theresa or sharon
I went on a first date last night where a guy kept calling me captivating and then interrupting me. We are in love.
— Daralyn Kelleher (@deekizzle) April 27, 2017
[First Date]
— Şησω (@3Snowbee3) May 11, 2017
Him: You look beautiful tonight
Me: You said a nice quiet dinner
Him:
[First date]
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) May 2, 2017
ME: *finishes the last of the bottle* that is so good...should we order another?
DATE: I've never seen anyone drink mayonnaise
[First date]
— Ste(ph)en (@stephenjmolloy) May 5, 2017
Her: "I'm an artist."
Me: *trying to impress her* "I'm unemployed too!"
I'm on a first date and the guy just said the word "panties." I'm ok with dying alone.
— Mert (@Mertroid) March 27, 2017
There is no second date... pic.twitter.com/4tnWJ3mFqk
— Jonathan (@Wolfpuck87) April 20, 2017
Me on a 1st date: so yes I have a dog he is my child I need assure that u will be a positive influence in his life. Is that a problem?
— asthma/anxiety (@Bicuriousbogle) June 8, 2016
*first date
— Mr. Bea Arthur (@FuckabillyRex) May 7, 2017
Her: I'm an attorney, family law mostly, and I volunteer at a women's shelter in my free time.
Me: I fuckin' love Blink 182.
*on a first date*
— Jason Boettcher (@JasonBoettcher) May 3, 2017
Me: *trys to avoid being antisocial... by googling conversation topics on my phone*
I can't do this anymore.
— Connor McGoose (@kelownagoose) May 2, 2017
-Me on a first date
[first date]
— johnny (@jersing) May 2, 2017
Me: ok John be cool
Him: hi
Me: I have a Britney Spears tattoo. The college my parents met at is a women's prison now. I'm sad
First date
— V Jawn (@Inferno_V) May 2, 2017
Me - I pee a little every time I sneeze. Every. Time.
*First Date*
— pookie (@Kollelorcollege) May 1, 2017
Her: Hobbies?
*thinks about the 50,000 piece Lego Death Star I'm building*
Me: Architecture and Astronomy.
Her: Impressive.
Me on a first date: "but enough about memes, let's talk about you"
— Louis Michael (@Louisxmichael) April 28, 2017
Last week I went on a first date and I highlighted some conspiracy theories & he looked at me like I was a murderer & next day sent me this pic.twitter.com/8JzY1Mzd1K
— J. a G (@i_c_e_b_o_x) May 10, 2017
[first date]
— Marta Effing Mango (@MartaEffing) April 24, 2017
There doesn't seem to be much chemistry between us.
Me: WORD.
me, on a date: my hobbies are writing poetry & making Sims versions of myself that I never use because I don't want to ruin their lives
— Trista Mateer (@tristamateer) May 10, 2017
[trying to avoid awkward silence on first date]
— brent (@murrman5) March 27, 2015
you ever see a horse throw up?
"no"
*smiles and turns phone sideways so video gets bigger*
[first date]
— Grace Spelman (@GraceSpelman) June 10, 2016
Him: Tell me about yourself
Me: WELL, i didn’t wear a bra with my dress today so all my boob sweat dripped onto my feet
[first date]
— Banana Graveyard (@bananagrvyrd) May 12, 2017
Me: *gesturing to myself* "I'm so sorry about all this."
[first date]
— Phteven (@PhuckinCody) May 5, 2017
HER: I'm a bit of a health nut
ME: Yeah me too *eats another handful of Flinstone vitamins*
