COMEDY
04/18/2017 05:45 pm ET

Here Are Fitting Haikus For The Members Of President Trump's Cabinet

So much inner peace achieved.

We’re celebrating haiku poetry this week, so why not craft a special haiku for the members of Trump’s cabinet! You remember the haiku format, right? Just like Trump moving down the line of women at his Miss USA pageants: “5 ... 7 ... 5 ...”

See, it’s easy! 

 

Sean Spicer

After laying eggs

Every day for the press corp,

Spicer paints them, too

White House

 

 

Steve Bannon

Bannon’s not Satan

But still … better show us his

birth certificate

Chip Somodevilla via Getty Images

 

 

Jared Kushner

Hi, Jared Kushner?

Here’s that green screen with custom

War sounds you ordered

DOD via Getty Images

 

 

Mike Pence

Mike Pence has a great

Relation with God, but what

If He is a Her?

JUNG YEON-JE via Getty Images

 

 

Betsy DeVos

Retired teachers

Are more invested in school

Than Betsy DeVos

Miami Herald via Getty Images

 

 

Rick Perry

Hire Rick Perry

To run a department he

Wants terminated

BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI via Getty Images

 

 

Ben Carson

Shh, Ben Carson, shh,

You said it yourself, you’re not

Qualified for this

Joe Raedle via Getty Images

 

Reince Priebus

Chief of Staff Priebus

Why are you hoarding all the

Letter I’s and E’s? 

MIKE THEILER via Getty Images
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