Christmas is a strange time to be a Miamian. The only white Christmases our city ever experienced are the ones sprinkled with reside cocaine powder in the 1980s.
And our lack of snow is only underscored by all the yuletide rhymes, songs, and movies about winter wonderlands. No chilly temps also means no roasting chestnuts or hot cocoa or scores of other holiday-branded merriment.
But step outside! It's beautiful weather! Just be wary of any celebratory gunshots your neighbors may fire into the air.
The writers behind "Hialeah Haikus" managed to distill Christmas in Miami -- or 'Crisma' -- with a thoughtful '12 Days of Miami Christmas' video.
“Christmas in Miami is unlike Christmas anywhere else, so we really should have our own songs. I recently tried to explain this to Kim Kardashian in a tweet. I hope she gets it now,” Hialeah Haikus's Alex Hernandez-Fumerotold local blog Salty Eggs. “The scenes of the video, like the haikus, are inside jokes. We were looking for stuff that only Miami people would understand — and also from Google.”
Watch the video above -- the Magic City's version of Christmas means roasting pigs, guava pastries, and Barcardi cocktails. Happy holidays, bro.