How Happy Is Your Home? 5 Tips To Better Sex And Sleep In Your Bedroom

07/01/2008 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

This series is about finding happiness in the home. How do we, very simply, make the physical layout of the house more harmonious? How do we improve our communication with those we live with? What food would be most beneficial to have in our fridge? And how can we generally make more positive choices in our home life?

Last week, we talked about drawing opportunities through our front door, and this week, some simple tips on making the bedroom layout as conducive as possible to a sizzling sex and serene sleep.

Most of us spend at least a third of our lives in the bedroom. It's where we withdraw from the world and rejuvenate. If we experience a sense of harmony in there, we have a much better chance of coming out in to the world in a balanced way, which will, in turn, affect how we go about our day, how much energy we have and how we communicate with others.

TIP 1. My number one motto for the bedroom is to keep it simple, peaceful and uncluttered. If at all possible, don't have anything in there that is too stimulating. Answering machines, computers, televisions etc. If you must have a television, then put it in a cupboard, so it can be put away or covered when you aren't watching it. If you live in a studio or bed-sit, hide your electronic equipment behind a screen when you sleep. Also, please, not too many books. We are taking away options of activities, so that nothing is going to divert your attention from sex or sleep.

TIP 2. If you're going to have any photos in your bedroom, please make sure they are really happy ones of you, with your lover. It is not a good idea to put pictures up of your parents, siblings or children. It's not exactly sexy having other members of your family staring down at you while you're getting laid!

Many years ago, my mother put a picture of me above my parent's bed, thinking it was a great decorating move. Dad immediately took it down as it totally put him off having me staring over their bed. My brother thought it was rather funny and the next day put a picture of himself up at 13 years old, looking like a dork, in his bar mitzvah outfit, with the slogan "I'm watching you!" underneath. The bedroom is a sacred space just for you as a couple. Pictures of anyone else, reminding you of your family duties, will not in any way enhance your sex life!

TIP 3. The best place for a master bedroom is at the back of the house. The front of the house is where most of the activity takes place, so you want to have your bedroom away from all the comings and goings. The total ideal is the back, right hand corner of the house, which is often thought of as the relationship area. (So if you're facing inside from the front door entrance, your bedroom should be at the back and to the right.) If that's not possible, then anywhere behind the midline of the house is good.

TIP 4. Put a plant in the bedroom to keep the atmosphere fresh and bring life and growth into the area. A good place for that is in the back right hand corner of the room, which is the relationship corner, in the relationship room. Also, another great option is to put fresh flowers there to keep your love blossoming.

TIP 5. Stand in the entrance of every room of your house and the back right hand corner of each room is the relationship area of the room. If you want to bring in a new relationship or enhance the communication in the one that you're in, then make sure those areas are clean and clear of clutter.

You might want to put flowers there, a picture of you together, a mirror to draw in life. Use your common sense and what you think might look best, as you bring life and activity in to those areas in each room. Then, as you physically make these changes, imagine the changes you desire taking place.

So, for example, if you want a new relationship in your life, visualize that happening. If you want clearer communication in the relationship that you're in, then imagine that happening. What might it sound like? What might it feel like? If you create the positive changes in your mind first, then they are much more likely to happen in the outside world.

Next week we are going to talk about the bed itself and where the guests should stay so they don't outstay their welcome.

Enjoy the tips. They are not for everyone, but they might be for you!


To contact Sophie you can e-mail her at sophie@howhappyis.com.