How Play Creates and Fosters Connection

Particularly useful is putting play into practice. Here are some steps for you to do that.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

When my friend Jeremy was a child, he was diagnosed with ADHD and given prescription drugs to handle this "problem." Compared to the rest of Americans it was nothing new; in total 11 percent of children are medicated with some form of amphetamine to solve the "problem" of ADHD. Unfortunately, that wasn't the hardest part of Jeremy's childhood. In addition to ADHD, he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, which led to more prescription drugs including anti-anxiety and anti-psychotics.

From a young age, Jeremy was made to feel like he had major problems when he really only needed more play in his life. A friend introduced him to AcroYoga and Jeremy began to light up. He practiced for a year and utilized his new practice to meet new friends, develop relationships, and foster a sense of connection with others.

The inspiring part of the story is not that he felt more connected with people, but that he actually was. By the time 1 year had passed, Jeremy was able to reduce his prescription medications by 90 percent mainly because of what he had taught himself through AcroYoga. By playing in physical contact with other people, Jeremy was able to better understand how to interact with humans on a social level and how to work through his own trepidation with others.

The Brain Science of Connection

If you have ever been in a relationship with a partner, you have probably experienced the growing sense of connectedness through touch. This is because of the brain chemicals released when touching humans and specifically humans that you have a special relationship with.

Particularly, brain chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin are released throughout the process of simple touch and more romantic love-making.

As the connection grows and the people in a relationship become closer, the chemical bonds are stronger and stronger.

Steps to Play for Connection

Connecting with others is one of the most important things that we can do as humans. Because of our social structures and frailty as a species, we have evolved to be highly social and connected creatures, which pervades all aspects of our life. Even with modern technology, the businesses that are most successful are the ones that stay connected with customers. As we have evolved to use the internet and cell phone we have become constantly "connected" in some sense, but removed true connection out of the equation.

However, there is a remedy for that. Now that you understand not only how connection can help through the recovery story of Jeremy, but you also realize that it relates to brain chemicals that can be altered and manipulated. Particularly useful is putting play into practice. Here are some steps for you to do that.

1. Competitive vs. Free Play -- There are multiple types of play and all mammals exhibit the traits of both throughout their life. The problem with humans in the western world is that we play competitively far more often than we should. The best way to build strong connections with others is through free play. This is where we create a container to explore movement and fun for the sake of doing it rather than any other purpose.

2. More Intimate Is Better -- Everyone has their baggage regarding touching, intimacy, and trust and all of these things are understandable. Try to find a physical play activity that is as intimate as possible without going over your boundaries or your edge. If you find that you can try something like AcroYoga or jiu-jitsu, you'll find they are very intimate practices that require lots of touch. This can help you to feel more comfortable and connected with others.

3. Make Up Games and Challenges -- Structure is one of the hindrances to free play, which is why making up games and challenges are so important. If you plan to improve your sense of connection with others, it is a great idea to be silly, be creative, and do something you have never done before. This type of mentality will start to flow into other aspects of your life for the better.

Popular in the Community

Close

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE