What if I told you that I have not one, but TWO methods YOU can use, TODAY, to rid yourself of sabotage in your life, once and for all?
It’s a warm, sunny day here on Long Island, and after enduring 2.5 hours in traffic, I returned home yesterday evening from a two day mastermind meeting in Connecticut. AMAZING doesn’t begin to describe the experience: Business breakthroughs, new friends and an enhanced confidence about the direction Weight Loss by Pete is heading in. I went to a mastermind group run by the same dude about six months back, and my business model, branding and EVERYTHING was torn to shit during the first one! This time, I was reassured that I’m doing all the right things, and was given a new project to work on before I’ll be returning to New England :-)
Now then, back to these pesky saboteurs!
They come in all shapes and sizes. Some are our significant others, some are our parents, some are our siblings, some are our friends, and some are coworkers. You get it…
Each saboteur brings his or her own unique challenges, but this much they all have in common: They’re going to try and either tempt or guilt you into falling off the wagon!
For example, your husband may greet you as you walk in the door from work Friday evening with a home-cooked but unhealthy meal, many bottles of wine, your favorite show waiting to be turned on on Netflix, and a box of Magnum Condoms on the table next to the couch to make him feel like a ‘big man’ (I crack myself up!).
You decide to visit your parents for the weekend, and your mom prepares your favorite dish from when you were growing up: Pasta Fagioli! Everything about that dish is NOT on the agenda for your nutrition, but you don’t want to make her feel bad, so you cave in, and before you know it, a weekend at the folks’ is a weekend of dietary suicide.
You just started a new job, and are out for drinks Friday evening with a bunch of coworkers. Being that this is the most cost-effective option (and they can give two shits about their bodies), they propose that you order a couple of pitchers for the table, as well as some wings. You know that neither the beer or the appetizers are a good idea, but you really want to fit in, and you decide to just go with it. Before you leave the bar, you’ve eaten at least a dozen wings, downed four glasses of beer, and because you’re either buzzed or drunk, that pizza place right next door is looking quite appealing!
‘Want to split a pie, everyone?!’
How’d I do in painting those pictures for you? Good? Yeah, I know! That’s because I’ve BEEN THERE and DONE THAT in EVERY SINGLE ONE of those situations!!!
Let’s break down all three situations really quickly, and propose ways to handle them without letting the saboteurs win:
1. The Significant Other.
For starters, if you’re on your health and weight loss journey, he or she should be SUPPORTIVE of you! That means that they’re NOT going to tempt you to fall off the wagon. When you begin your journey, make sure that they understand what you’re NOT going to be eating, so that if they do decide to surprise you with food, this doesn’t happen in the first place.
If you’ve had this conversation, and this ‘display of affection’ has still taken place, then there’s a good chance that he or she is trying to sabotage you — Or, they’re really shitty listeners! They may not be conscious of it, but (as you’ll see as a recurring theme in the next two situations, as well), they’re feeling THREATENED by your ability and your willingness to lose weight and better your health, and because they’re not ready to commit to this kind of lifestyle change WITH YOU, they’re going to try and bring you back down to their ‘level.’
I don’t say this to imply that he or she isn’t great — I say this to paint the picture of what they’re thinking in that situation if this happens AFTER you’ve discussed what changes you’re going to be making, and what you’d like to try and avoid from a dietary perspective. Offer to help them clean up, put the poor food choice in the fridge, and either prep or order a healthier option ON YOUR DIME. The Netflix and Chill portion of the night can continue as previously planned ;-)
2. The Parents.
Like with your significant other, you NEED TO HAVE FORESIGHT! If you haven’t seen your parents in a while, and you’ve scheduled a trip to see them, make sure you call and tell them what dietary changes you’ve made since you last saw them. Ask that if they’re going to be preparing a meal for you, that it’s either a healthier version of what you enjoyed so much as a child, or it’s just a healthier dish altogether.
If they’re not sure how to do this, then you have two options:
1) Google a healthy recipe for them and send it to them IN ADVANCE so they can go to the store and insure they have what they need, or
2) Send them my Healthy Recipe Book! With 72 recipes spanning breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, appetizers and desserts, they’re going to be well-armed with the information they’ll need to insure that any fare they prepare for you during your visit is both healthy AND delicious!
The link for the Recipe Book is: http://www.weightlossbypete.com/healthyrecipes
3. The Coworkers.
Depending on how long you’ve been at your current position, how well you know your coworkers, etc., may determine whether or not you’ll even have the ability to have ‘the talk’ with them prior to going out to a bar. That being said, there’s a very simple way to handle this…
Let’s pretend that this after-work get-together is a last minute idea that you decide to go along with. You’re all about to head out the door for the weekend, and you all decide you want to just shoot the shit and hang out for a bit before you all go home. On your walk over to the bar near your office, everyone’s talking about your asshole of a boss or whatever it is you all talk about, so you don’t feel comfortable mentioning what you WON’T be having.
You then enter the bar, grab a table, and the ‘leader’ of the pack asks everyone ‘So, do you guys want to order a couple of pitchers, and maybe a thing or two of wings?’ Everyone agrees, and now you feel like a real asshole if you’re going to say, ‘Well, actually…’
So, here’s what you do: Say something to the effect of, ‘That sounds good, but I’m actually trying to lose some weight, so I’d prefer not to drink beer or eat wings. I’m going to order my own drinks, so I’ll put that on a separate tab so we can keep your bill down.’
Since I’ve literally done this before (you can ask my friends and former coworkers if you really want), 99% of the time, nobody will say ANYTHING! They’ll just be like ‘Ok, that’s cool,’ and you guys can move on with your night.
Sometimes, someone will say something like, ‘Oh come on, it’s the weekend! You have to indulge once in a while,’ which you can put down by simply saying, ‘No, I’m good, thanks though!’ It really shouldn’t escalate beyond that point. If it does, then that person is feeling uncomfortable because he or she probably needs to make some changes, but they’re not willing to commit at this time. Should they continue to pester you about your choice(s), the rest of the group will normally stand up for YOU, and put them in their place :-)
Anyhow, I hope you found this helpful! Regardless of the situations that may present themselves in the near future, DON’T GIVE IN!! Be comfortable knowing you’re doing the right thing, and be confident in your decisions!!!
P.S. If you need some help on the nutritional side in terms of WHAT to eat, then you’re in luck! I have a Recipe Book (which I mentioned earlier) AND a Food Guide that reviews the three phases of nutrition that I not only went through on MY transformation, but that I take my Permanent Weight Loss clients through on their personal journeys.
Normally, each book goes for $10 a pop, but you can get both for just $13.99 since I’m feeling generous today :-)
To get your copies, go to www.weightlossbypete.com/foodguiderecipes. Until tomorrow!