How To Win Friends And Influence People In The 21st Century

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Do you want to win favor?

  • Do not flatter with insincerity.
  • Do not ask for a favor immediately.
  • Do not approach every relationship with a sense of entitlement.

Every day, many busy people have dozens of unread emails, LinkedIn requests, and Facebook messages.

In this era, many employees and entrepreneurs have decided to reach more people through social media.

Liking a social media update, posting a comment, or sharing an article is fine. Although, it should not be done to yield a favor. Please do not approach business relationships as you do with dating.

If you take a girl out to a dinner and movie, you might feel that she owes you something.

Conversely, if you spend an hour trying to put on a "diva" look, you might feel that he needs to show you his appreciation with his wallet.

Abandon the "What Can You Do For Me?" mentality!

There has to be at least an equal exchange of value.

It does not matter what you deem to be equal. The person who is granting the favor has to find it to be equal. Otherwise, it is not a good use of their time.

I did not build my success on begging or equal exchanges of value. I built my success on delaying gratification, offering immense value, and then accepting offers from people who wanted to help me.

Did you know some people will go great lengths to give you almost anything? You can only win such favor when you become immensely helpful by delaying your self-interest for a while.

You may wonder how you could help someone who has more connections and resources than yourself.

"What could I really do to help that person?"

Unfortunately, that is the wrong question. The right question starts by discovering the causes that are important to them.

For example, take a look at their philanthropic efforts or intentions. Perhaps, you may be connected to that cause in some way. If so, now you can be helpful to that person.

Choose to be selfless. Do not ask the person to donate to your charity or buy things from you. Success is not for beggars.

Instead, offer a selfless proposition.

This is the first step to win friends and influence people in the 21st century.

You can choose to invest time in building relationships that will blossom organically. Alternatively, you can choose to go on a cold pitching marathon.

However, people are more likely to work with people that they like, know, or trust. This is only possible when you invest the time to build these relationships.

Fast Company Magazine discovered a study that showed sending 700 cold emails will only yield 12 replies. Do you still want to go on that cold pitching marathon?

If you ask me, I would focus on serving three to five people with the hopes that two or three of those relationships will blossom organically.

Remember, if you can be immensely helpful by delaying your self-interest for a while, people will go great lengths to do almost anything for you.

This is an abbreviated version of the article. You can read the full version at Reaching The Finish Line.