Bill Murray once said, "If you have someone you think is the one, take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world, and go to places that are hard to go to and hard to get out of. And if when you come back to JFK, when you land in JFK, and you're still in love with that person, get married at the airport."
I think it's fair to say that we have done our fair share of traveling together.
Jack and I have been dating for a bit over five years, with two of those years being on and off distance. Back and forth, six months apart, Skype calls, time difference, not knowing the next time we would see each other all became so emotionally draining and tough, and we are still here, together.
But we had something good going so we weren't going to let a bit of distance and a measly 17 hour time difference get in our way of making this relationship work. So we traveled. We traveled to 20 countries together and made this relationship stronger than ever.
Traveling has been the ultimate test to our relationship and with travel, we have become a better couple, more confident as individuals, and together, have marked our stamp all over the world (and will continue to do so)! One of the biggest reasons we are still together was because we traveled to make this relationship the way it is today. Here are 10 reasons how traveling has saved our relationship.
1. We've created new memories all across the globe
Since Australia and America isn't an easy weekend (or even a week getaway, for that matter), we would meet somewhere in the middle (ish). Traveling has been one of the most rewarding, sensational, empowering and memorable experience of our lives, and being able to share that with each other is magical. We get to discover something new and have this new-shared experience with each other, where we can always look back and smile on.
We have hiked the Grand Canyon, pet kangaroos in Australia, repelled waterfalls in Vietnam, climbed the Great Wall of China, ate our hearts out in France, drank coffees in Melbourne, surfed in Hawaii and much more. We got to explore all these new countries, make new memories, and had fun TOGETHER. We don't have this experience with anyone else and it is truly wonderful to share that bond with each other.
2. We avoid all visa issues (for the most part)
We don't mess around with visas or anything illegal like that, but we base our time somewhere by time allotted on specific visas. We don't skip out, we just take advantage. 30 days in Thailand, 15 days in Vietnam, 90 days in Croatia, a 1 year working visa in Australia, a sponsorship visa in the US and so on. And when time runs out, we go somewhere new. With all the different visa laws, we get to stretch out our time while traveling together (legally)! The longer (with working rights) the better, that we can also make money while we travel and explore the country more.
3. You learn more about each other
My dad used to always tell me, "If you can travel together and are still together by the end of it, you may have found the one. If he can deal with all your weird quirks, he is a keeper." Well, thanks dad. Going from distance to being together 24/7 is a big change so there is so much to learn about your partner.
Traveling together puts you in a vulnerable place and can be a very revealing (and scary) experience. Everything is exposed -- all your strengths, dirty habits, fears, quirks, stresses, and every un-cute (but endearing) characteristic you may have will be seen.
Jack learned I was very messy to travel/live with and I learned Jack can't sit still for a second but we both learned we are very compatible as travel mates and as a couple. We learn about each others fears and how to push each other to conquer them, we see our strengths in communication and strive to better it, and we find out about each others bad habits and learn to fix them... kinda/hopefully.
4. They've seen the worst in you and they still love you
Food poisoning, stitches, my messiness, asthma, drunken nights, thin doors where they can hear EVERYTHING, wearing the same stinky clothes, cuts and bruises, bali belly and crohn's disease and yet he's still stuck by my side and loves me despite all of these charming qualities I bring to the table. Traveling brings a whole set of unexpected obstacles to the relationship when traveling in difficult places, but it's how your partner reacts that is important.
But, at the end of the day, they still come to the same place, on the same flight, at the same time with you! It's like they say, "For better or for worse," right?
5. We cross things off our bucketlists together
One of the best things about traveling together, is we both have a dire need for the new discovery and the next adventure. We both have things we want to cross off our bucketlist and we get to cross them off with each other! Because we have different traveling personalities, we introduce new ideas to each others bucketlists and push each other to do something we would never have thought of.
It's so rewarding to look back on that one time we swam with whale sharks, or skydived, or bathed elephants, or did a cooking class in France! WE did it together and the memories around them are something truly special! It creates a really great bond to knock off these adventures together.
6. With distance, traveling gives us something to look forward to
Did you know touch helps you feel connected to your partner in a relationship? With long distance, we aren't physically together all the time, and the physicality aspect is something we lust over. 6 months away from each other is hard so we plan to meet in the middle when we can.
When we plan a new trip to meet up, we have something to look forward to, not only are we seeing a new country/city together but we get to be together physically. The importance of touch is something most take for granted and it really is such an important part of our relationship. Planning a new adventure gets us so unbelievably excited and it's really great to feel so giddy and full of butterflies each time.
7. We grow together
Traveling ultimately makes you a better person, and with each day we travel (whether a road trip from LA or a 12 hour flight to Hong Kong), we grow. Like we said in #3, as we learn together, we mature as a couple. We have overcome so many obstacles and issues - do you know how hard it is to do long distance for 6 months? 3 times? Saying the goodbyes without knowing the next time we will be seeing each other? Farting in front of each other?
Traveling is where you learn most about your relationship, whether you make it or break it. There is no doubt you will not become a better you and better us by traveling. Boy, with each day, we became a better couple. You learn, you fight, you resolve, you laugh, you love, you grow. Unless, you're an ass, there is no escaping.
8. You learn to overcome (certain) fights
One of the biggest lessons we have learned from traveling was learning to compromise. When we travel, we tend to fight a bit because all of a sudden this person is in your space all the freaking time. From only on Skype to being together for 24/7. It's a HUGE change.
And honestly, you probably will fight because it's a different lifestyle to what you have become so used to, and it's ok, it's healthy (sometimes). But you have to learn to compromise to make anything work. Find a middle ground to make sure every party in the relationship is happy. You and your partner are now a team and are forced to into situations that need a solution that could ultimately please both parties. You have to work together to make the trip a success or else, stubbornness could be your demise.
9. Your sex life gets better
At home, you are in a somewhat lackluster routine. Wake up, gym, work, dinner, the occasional Netflix episode, sleep -- not something that sparks romance and intimacy everyday. When you travel, your routine and patterns are broken up and shaken so everything is changing. Watching your partner traverse sexily through the terrain, seeing your partner lift those heavy bags, trying new foods with them, crossing off those bucket list items together, or looking all Bear Grylls.
There is something so sexy about being somewhere else with your partner. Maybe it's the lack of stress and commitments that occupy your mind. Or maybe seeing your partner face their fears. Or maybe you are just so relaxed on this vacation that you get to rebond with your partner like it's the first time you've met. For all I know though, is that travel makes your sex life.
"Actually, the best gift you could have given her was a lifetime of adventures." Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll
How has traveling saved your relationship?
This post was originally posted on Who Needs Maps.
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