I Will Not Say I'm Sorry, I Will Say Thank You Instead

03/22/2017 01:31 pm ET Updated Mar 22, 2017

My name is Henderson, and I am a chronic apologizer. I really mean it. I apologize for everything.

If the baby starts crying, I apologize to my husband if it has disturbed what he is doing. If Reeves is playing and I ask him to let the dogs in, he gets an "I'm sorry" for his trouble. I apologize for everything and to everyone. No one is exempt.

It flies off my tongue so freely and easily that many times, I don't even know that I am saying it.

Jeff has taken to correcting me by saying "stop apologizing" and as you can imagine, my reply is "I'm sorry".....and around we go!

A few weeks ago, I read this article about how you should say "thank you" instead of "I'm sorry". For example, let's say someone is waiting on you. Instead of apologizing for their trouble, thank them for their kindness.

If you are delivering a difficult message to someone, instead prefacing it with an "I'm sorry if this is painful to hear", own those words and close with a thank you for listening.

This really made me take a hard look at why I say I'm sorry, and how often what I am really saying is "thank you".

Somehow, it makes me feel better somehow to say it. It makes me feel like a "nice" person. The truth is, overapoligizing has made me look weak and like I lack confidence. Neither of these are qualities I aspire to have.

I have found myself apologizing for the loss of Madison and my emotions and reactions about it. While I am very sorry she is not here with me to raise and love on Earth, I should absolutely not be apologizing for that.

As I continue to work on this path of self-love and discovery, I realize this is something I really want to work on and change about myself. It's definitely not going to be an easy habit to break, and I'm sorry if I say it to you and I thank you for helping remind me if I happen to throw an unnecessary apology your way!

With love and thanks :)

Henderson

Henderson Lafond is the founder of Madison's Closet. Our mission is to comfort and clothe moms who suffered a perinatal loss by providing complimentary donated clothing to help them reclaim their self confidence. Please visit Madison's Closet to learn more about receiving or donating clothing.
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