Fate alone has robbed me of more opportunities and experiences than I can count. Fate has kept me from pushing when something didn't work and from asking why when life said no. Fate, as it seems, has been my excuse when situations seem out of my control and I don't want to take responsibility for the change I can make. I've come to the conclusion that if I let fate dictate my life I will not get anywhere.
This realization has come at one of the hardest moments in my life. Things have always gone as follows: I want to accomplish something. I work hard. I accomplish what I worked hard to accomplish. It has been a formula I have lived by. However, when my hard work has paid off with nothing or with further hardships and distress the phrase "maybe it wasn't meant to be" is repeated by my friends, family, and loved ones. I feel that I have gracefully taken my fails. It's true that sometimes things are completely outside of our control, but when this isn't the case why is it acceptable to say that a higher power intended it this way?
How often have we substituted responsibility and control with "fate"? How often have we stopped pushing towards our dreams because "it just isn't working". I have had a bad year. I have not had a bad day. I have not had a bad week. I have had an entire year of misfortunes that were completely out of my hands. Many of those who I have kept close have told me that maybe I should take a break or let it go. While I understand their concern, I can't bring myself to believe that I should stop trying to create the life I want.
We encourage the ones we love. We tell each other that we're powerful beyond measure and have a real ability to make change in this world. Nevertheless, when someone we love is faced with continuous failure we passively suggest that the universe has other things in store. This implies that you can only work hard up until a certain point and if it doesn't work then give up.
I've been told "don't force it." However, if I am rejected by my dream job why shouldn't I call and ask "How can I work to become a viable candidate for this position?" rather than just saying, "I guess it wasn't meant to happen." The stars do not determine everything. There's often a reason for the noes in life and I just can't keep leaving it to fate to figure that out for me. I do think there's a difference between knowing when to let go after having tried every possible solution and letting go because you don't want to take responsibility. I want responsibility.
I want to trust that things will be okay no matter what but also work hard and give myself every opportunity to succeed. I want to understand the choices that are available to me when I fail and I want to be encouraged to use them. More than anything, I want to let go of silly superstitions and the assumption that I am helpless to life's rough patches. They will come, but I will always have a choice about how to deal with them. I'm not and I won't be letting fate get in the way any longer.