A tale of house-cleaning futility...
If you give a mom a junk drawer, she's going to want to clean it.
So she'll dump the entire contents and begin to sort.
When she dumps the drawer, she'll notice there are stray game pieces. So she'll go to the toy shelf to put them away.
When she gets to the toy shelf, she'll notice the toys are a mess. So she'll dump the shelf and start to organize.
When she dumps the shelf, she'll see a stray pair of dirty socks. Really? Socks? Sigh. So she'll leave the games and go put the socks in the hamper.
When she gets to the hamper, she'll realize it's overflowing. So she'll decide to do laundry.
When she goes to do laundry, she'll realize there's a basket filled with clean clothes. So she'll go to her child's room to put them away.
When she goes to her child's room, she'll realize... sigh... her child's drawers are too full to squeeze anything else in. So she'll dump the drawers to see what she can give away.
When she dumps the drawers, she'll see the holiday sweater that she absolutely must save. Immediately. So she'll go to the attic to get the memory box.
When she opens the memory box, she'll realize it's become way too full to fit anything else in. So she'll dump the memory box.
When she dumps the memory box... OMG... pictures! More pictures! The hand print from preschool! The dalmatian costume! The kindergarten Mother's Day present! Oh look... the lock of hair from the first haircut. The family reunion DVD!
When she's finished watching the DVD, she'll remember she needs to email her brother about spring break. So she'll go to the computer.
When she gets to the computer, she'll.... wait... what did I come here for? So she'll go on Facebook.
When she goes on Facebook, she'll remember she needs to answer Alyssa's message... and pay dance tuition... and balance her checkbook... and see when summer camp sign-up is... watch a friend's cat video... and oh look, a coupon for laundry detergent! And she'll remember she was doing the laundry.
When she goes to get the laundry from the washing machine, she'll realize there are clean towels in the dryer. So she'll go to the bathroom to replace the dirty towels.
When she gets to the bathroom, she'll see the toilet paper is empty. Seriously... nobody else can change the toilet paper?! So she'll go to replace the toilet paper.
When she goes to replace the toilet paper, she'll realize she's about to use the last roll (really?!). And there are no more tissues... toothpaste... shampoo. Does anybody tell me anything? Sigh. So she'll decide to make a shopping list.
When she goes to make a shopping list, she'll realize she needs to write it down. So she'll go to the desk to get a pen.
When she goes to the desk, she'll realize the only thing that isn't in the freaking desk is a freaking pen that works. Seriously? Not one working pen?! So she'll go to the toy shelf to find a crayon.
When she goes to the toy shelf to find a crayon, she'll remember the toys are all over the floor because she dumped them to clean the toy shelf. So she'll shove all the crap back on the shelf and go to the junk drawer to find a $@%* pen.
When she gets to the junk drawer, she'll remember she left all the crap from the junk drawer in a pile on the floor in the kitchen. OMG, what was I thinking trying to clean the junk drawer? And why can't I find a notepad? And what the heck do all these keys go to? And these chargers look like they came from a flip-phone in 2003. And why are there NO PENS?!
So she'll throw all the random crap back into the $*#% junk drawer and make her grocery list on her phone... which is what she should have done in the first place.
When she makes the list on her phone, she'll make sure to include a large package of pens.
Oh... and a pad of paper.
And more pens!
And chances are, if you give a mom a package of pens and a notepad... she's going to need a junk drawer to go with them.
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