I'm Totally Done Being A Sloth-Wife

"It's hard to want sex when you don't feel sexy."
01/27/2017 02:35 pm ET Updated Feb 17, 2017
Michelle Zunter

Wiping noses, wiping butts, wiping counter-tops. Cleaning toilets, cleaning carpets, cleaning bathtubs. Doing laundry, doing drop-offs, doing dinner. This is just a short list of the things I dedicate my time to every day that I believe have contributed to me to becoming a sloth-wife.

Okay, I’m definitely not lazy by any means which is generally the definition of being sloth-like. Certainly not when it comes to my family, chores, or responsibilities within the home.

But, as far as my marriage goes, I realize what I’ve become lately.

Many of you out there know how this goes. One kid gets sick, then everyone gets sick. You get sick. The laundry piles up. Dishes don’t get done. You feel like sh*t. You don’t get enough sleep. You’re irritated. You end up wearing the same disgusting sweats or stretched out yoga pants like some sort of sloth uniform.

And the weeks go by. You’re exhausted. You get in a rut. Somewhere between cleaning the toilets and watching the messes pile up, you just don’t feel sexy anymore. It’s hard to want sex when you don’t feel sexy. At least for me, it is.

My husband and I often end up passing out watching the news or Netflix at night. The intention to make love could have been there, but as many of you know, sometimes sleep is just SO much more enticing. Sometimes I even fantasize about sleeping. Priorities, right? And besides, usually, I’m in my comfy jammies and haven’t shaved my legs. UGH!

Don’t get me wrong. I do think I’m sexy. I’m pretty confident my husband does too. He tells me all the time. It’s just that most of the time when he tells me that I’m just not in the mood to hear it. Usually, this is because I’m frazzled beyond belief trying to keep up with all the responsibilities I’ve myself committed to.

I think my husband goes through similar ruts himself, but I do think it’s different for women, whether they’re depleted from working at a job all day or drained from dealing with household responsibilities all day. Either way, being tired, overwhelmed, or distracted doesn’t help with foreplay much.

So, today I’ve decided not to be a sloth-wife anymore — at least for today. I’m going to make an effort to actually do my hair, wear some real clothes that aren’t stretchy and maybe even something a little more risqué tonight.

When you’re completely submerged in taking care of everyone else in your family, sometimes a little self-maintenance is in order.

And this isn’t just for my husband. It’s for me. When you’re completely submerged in taking care of everyone else in your family, sometimes a little self-maintenance is in order. For you. To remember what you look like with a little eye shadow or blow-dried hair.

It’s so easy to get trapped in the day-to-day shuffle of family-life. When you have kids and you’re in a relationship or marriage, the kids tend to come first even when you try your darnedest to make couple time. They’re like a bulldozer on steroids busting through your sex life.

Well, not tonight. I’m going to jazz myself up both for myself and my marriage. We may not have a babysitter but we sure do have bedtime.

Should husbands also practice a little self-maintenance once in a while? Heck yes! Wives shouldn’t be the only ones attempting to bring sexy back. I’m just saying that, for me, I’ve had enough of passing by my bathroom mirror and seeing a tired-looking lady with a bun in her hair rushing from one chore to the next. I’m sick of her right now. A change is in order. Today is the day.

Today I’m not going to be a sloth-wife.

Read Michelle’s blogs at The Pondering Nook & listen to her & her fabulous co-host at The Broad’s Way Podcast

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