Is He Committed To You Or Not?

02/04/2017 06:57 pm ET Updated Feb 07, 2017

With Valentine’s Day coming up, love is definitely in the air. But how committed is the guy you’re dating? When it comes to commitment, it’s not always what he says but rather what he does that will clue you in to your love’s true feelings. 

If your man is not ready to commit, he will tell you so – but you need to be attentive, catch the signs, and ask yourself the following questions:

  • How does he act around you in public? Does your guy hold your hand lovingly, or does he create a physical space between you while you walk together? Does he happily take you out on dates, or does he regularly prefer to wine and dine you only at home? Sad to say, he may be sending you a signal that he does not want to be seen with you, for whatever reason.
  • How much do you really know about him? How much does he share with you about himself? Do you know his likes and dislikes, his past hurts and successes? If he does not openly share personal, intimate information about himself with you, then this may not be the right man for you. By being cautious and keeping you out of his life, he is giving you the message that you do not count – you are not that significant to him.
  • Has he introduced you to other important people in his life? Have you been home to meet the family yet? Have you met his children from prior relationships? What about his best friends - has he introduced you to them? If not, then he is most likely not committed to you. Many men will only introduce women to their families and buddies when they believe they have met The One.
  • Does your gut instinct tell you that something is amiss? Do you feel like your man is withholding information from you or being secretive about where he is going and with whom? If so, then you have a problem. Trust your instincts, and listen to what your head is telling you about his actions. If a partner is standoffish about his time away from you and keeps a private schedule, he is telling you, in no uncertain terms, that he does not want to be tied down to you - that you are not as relevant to him. 

There is an old relationship saying: men think women won’t change, and they do; women always think they can change men, and they can’t. If your man tells you he’s not interested in you, believe him.

Women tend to rationalize why their dates don’t introduce them to family, why they create physical distance when in public and why their men may not share personal information with them. However, it is important that you listen to your inner-voice: what does your gut tell you about this man? If you have doubts about his commitment, and you are seeing some of the behavior listed above, then trust your instincts. And, don’t be afraid to discuss your fears openly with him; his reaction may speak volumes. What your man may be trying to tell you is that he likes you, but he does not love you – and his level of commitment is not the same as yours.

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