According to Psychiatrist Dr. Passman:
A security blanket is something which dispels a sense of anxiety. The term is often used literally, to refer to the blankets and other objects carried by young children. Studies on comfort objects have shown that having a comfort object or security blanket can help a child adapt to a new or stressful situation. Being able to cling to a security blanket can help a child feel less agitated when his or her parents are not around.
Please note that Dr. Passman used the term "young children" instead of "adult" or "someone who is 33."
Mr. Insecure and I met in line at the grocery store. The minute he flashed his pearly whites at me while making a snarky comment about my need for so many paper products (I was buying paper towels, napkins, toilet paper and 2 bottles of red wine. What? My roommate and I go through a lot of paper products and booze what can I say?), I knew this man was going to be my next conquest, ahem, I mean date here in Chicago. He was tall, dark, and handsome with piercing blue eyes and an amazing smile that exuded a certain confidence that I find very sexy. He was in front of me in line and by the time I finished checking out at the store, he was outside waiting for me and offered to help me carry my groceries home. Considering the fact that one of my gloves must have fallen out of my pocket somewhere between my house and the paper product aisle, I quickly obliged in order to be able to stick my hands in my pockets and refrain from frost bite. In the time it took to walk from the grocery store to my house, I found out that he worked for a large advertising company in the loop, he's 33, a good small town boy at heart, and owns a condo in the neighborhood. We get to my door and he asked for my number and I happily offered it to him, along with a roll of toilet paper.
The next day I woke up to a slight red wine hangover, and a message from Mr. Insecure on my voicemail. He apologized for making fun of my paper product needs and mentioned that he would give his right arm for a bottle of red wine. I called him back and told him that if he felt like coming over, he is welcome to share mine and partake in the fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies I was baking. He came over and we had the best time shooting the breeze and trading witty banter while drinking red wine and eating cookies. We clicked immediately, and by the time I walked him out (four hours later) I feel like we could have a winner here! Before he left we set up a date for Thursday night to meet downtown for dinner.
Thursday rolls around and I met Mr. Insecure at the restaurant. He was already there by the time I arrived, and he has ordered the same bottle of red wine that we had that day at my house. When I noticed he laughed and said, "You may call it boring, I call it starting a tradition." Aw, we have a tradition! We have an even more amazing time than the first time we hung out and our dinner lasted for an easy three hours. He wanted to continue the evening at another bar, but my body had already consumed enough wine for one week, so I politely declined and told him I would take a rain check. We got up from the table and I looked back at him and saw him trying to stuff a large white soft object into his pocket. I laughed and said, "Goodness, I mean, I know this was a great date, but must you take the napkin as a souvenir?" He looked at me and turned bright red and said, "Oh, ummm, this isn't a napkin." I tried not to stare and I said, "Oh? Then what is it?" He replied, "It's kind of embarrassing. Please don't judge me, but, ummm, it's my blanky." Huh? Did he just say blanky? Oh yes, yes he did... and yes, I totally judged him. I slowly turned around again and looked him straight in the face and said, "A blanky? Like a security blanket?" He told me very matter of fact, as if it is everyday that one runs into a man over 5, who carries a security blanket, "Yes, and I never leave home without it." Duh Gena, of course he doesn't.
In my 13 years of dating, I have realized I tend to gravitate towards men who, on the outside, are strong, confident, and even borderline cocky, but on the inside they are emotionally damaged. These men need to be fixed, and for some reason, I always feel like I'm the one who can do it. In the end, I help them through their issues and I am the one who always ends up hurt (I'm sure that Dr. Passman would have a couple things to say about that as well). However, with this one, I realized I might never be able to fix his issues and I wasn't sure I had the energy to even try. Why is it so hard for me to find a normal, well adjusted man in this city? I'm well aware that I'm not perfect, and who is really? Really, who doesn't walk around with a couple insecurities hidden within them? But see, that's just it, they are hidden!