07/30/2015 09:35 am ET

First Clip Of Lifetime's 'Unauthorized Full House Story' Proves There's No Drama Here

Who thought making this was a good idea?

Have mercy! The first clip released for Lifetime's made-for-TV movie about the behind-the-scenes "drama" that allegedly happened on the set of the original ABC series "Full House" seems to prove our initial reaction to the project: Whyyyyyyyyy? 

The clip shows the actor playing John Stamos asking producers if they could replace the Olsen twins with kids who feel "more comfortable" on set, which is code for babies who can control their bowels. Since the twins started filming the show when they were just nine months old, one would think expecting them to be potty trained would be asking a little much, but it seems that's the kind of gritty, dramatic tension you can expect from this tell-all movie. 

Oh, we're also supposed to be shocked by the actor playing Bob Saget and his inappropriate remarks while the children were on set, though Saget's crude jokes have long been documented and discussed. Honestly, we're just more distracted by the network's decision to have the actor look like he's playing a junkie rather than Danny Tanner. 

"The Unauthorized 'Full House' Story" airs Aug. 22 at 8 p.m. on Lifetime. 

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