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01/18/2017 03:56 pm ET

Louis Tomlinson Wanted To 'Throw The Towel In' After His Mother's Death

The singer gave his first interview since losing his mom to leukemia.
Dave J Hogan via Getty Images

Louis Tomlinson is opening up about the devastating loss of his mother.

The One Direction singer lost his mother, Johannah Deakin, to leukemia in December. She was 43.

Tomlinson gave his first interview since Deakin’s death this week, talking with Sirius XM about his music and his mom.

It’s not something that I feel 100 percent comfortable talking too much about,” the 25-year-old said. “But just quickly, when I first found out the news I kind of did want to throw the towel in.”

Tomlinson added that it was his mother’s advice that allowed him to persevere.

“It was my mum who said to me that I’ve just got to keep going,” Tomlinson said. “She told me very sternly that she wanted me to.”

In the interview, Tomlinson also chatted about repairing his strained relationship with former One Direction bandmate Zayn Malik. 

“Me and Zayn have spoken recently,” Tomlinson said. “We’ve got to a point now where, you know, you can just really be happy for each other.”

Despite the tension between them, Malik tweeted his support for Tomlinson after new of Deakin’s death broke.

Cheers to these two for moving on with maturity. Tomlinson’s mother would be proud.

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