Would you say your life is great? I've often heard people make this statement. Many times followed up by, "As long as those closest to me are happy, my life will continue to be great." For many years I thought it was one of the most selfless things a person could say. My first thought was how great it was to sacrifice or delay one's own goals and dreams in order to nurture and attend to their love ones. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with this mode of operation, I do think it may require a deeper look.
As I began to take deeper look at the statement; I questioned was it truly selfless or something else? Was it fear in disguise, self-doubt, or some other underlying issue. While life does happen and sometimes requires a shift, not doing what you were created for is a disservice to yourself and those you are attending to.
We often become superman or superwoman in our careers and to our families. We say things like "Yes, I can do that" or "Yes, I can go there" and the list goes on and on. Accommodating others becomes a way of life. We never learn how to say "No" and our plates spill over. This leaves little to no room for where we're personally headed or who we are to become.
Fully committing to your future self must be done by any means necessary. If not, 20 years will have passed and we will be left wondering who we are and where do we go from here. Full commitment will require letting some things go or renegotiate how they get done. However, before you jump into full activation mode, I encourage you to first pause then assess what some of those big goals, dreams and desires are before you actively start taking steps towards them.
Think through each of the following areas below and list the activities you need to start, stop, or reconsider for optimal effectiveness. The quickest way to get stuck and frustrated is to add more to an already full schedule. Take a deeper look into what creating space for your God-given dreams looks like. Key areas to think about are:
- Family
- Career
- Community
- Social Life
- Finances
Creating space when transitioning to your calling is not an easy job. It sometimes means saying no to dinner invitations or other social engagements. However, as you recalibrate your life and time, the people who do not understand your vision may not understand your sacrifices. But those who are on your team will be elated you have finally put a stake in the ground and created the necessary space to be your best self.
We never have to lose ourselves in order to help others be their best selves. Instead, do the work to continue to grow who you are while you are helping others to become who they are.