Making Friends After 50

By: Susan "Honey" Good

Lessons and Cautions in Making Friends

About a month ago, on a sunny summer day, I ran into one of my girlfriends in front of the Chanel Boutique. We spoke about making plans with our spouses, promising as we left one another, to call. And then, off we ran in different directions to pursue the rest of our day. Busy! Busy!

Tonight, she and her husband are joining us at our club for an outdoor party. I asked two other couples to join us and then another friend asked if she could join. So we are 10 in all and I know the conversation, with this group, will be lively. We will not be discussing bad backs and Rotator Cuff surgery!

This morning, my ultimate concierge, Shelly, my pooch, Orchid, and I left our apartment for a walk to our little joint for a breakfast of lox and bagels. Orchid loves lox! On our walk to the restaurant, Shelly asked me who was joining our table tonight. I told him. During breakfast we continued talking about the evening ahead.

I said, "In each of my friends, I recognize qualities that are important to me and I also have a warm feeling; we are kindred spirits. I see our differences in our likes and I am happily drawn to the unfamiliar because it creates, within me, uplifting energy. I am looking forward to tonight."

My ultimate concierge replied, as we devoured our lox and bagels, "Your are talking like a writer." We laughed.

About my girlfriends...

One girlfriend is an interior designer. She is teaching me about lighting and design. We share, care and learn from one another. She is warm and inclusive and I always look forward to her company.

Another girlfriend ran Steppenwolf Theatre in Chicago and now studies Opera at Northwestern University. She is very bright, very open, very caring, and very warm. Our friendship is very close. We are two peas in a pod.

Another friend is a retired circuit court judge, very accomplished, always smiling, and very warm. We met through another friend and we let the conversation begin.... It will never end.

Last but not least, at this evening's table, is my dear girlfriend from LA and Chicago. We now live in the same building and feel lucky to have one another. She is warm and caring. We share our thoughts, world travels, and family sagas. She has all her childhood girlfriends; a quality that draws me to her.

Back to my story!

Walking home, Shelly, Orchid, and I parted company. Shelly went home to our condo in the sky. I wanted to run over to Neiman Marcus. I walked through our charming little park; decided to sit down on a bench and think about what is necessary for me to feel 'positive compatibility' with my women friends. Darlings, I am at my happiest when I surround myself with women who are in sync with me.

This does not mean that I will stifle my life, darlings. No. No. No. I will allow myself the opportunity to seek out the different and unfamiliar but stop short of jumping into a new friendship without a clear and precise vision of what brings me joy.

In other words, darlings, be cautious of whom you hitch to your star.

Off to primp for tonight! Still haven't decided to what to wear. Isn't that just like a woman?