This is what happens when you elect a bush. For sex.
A Connecticut man is suspected of getting freak-nasty with the foliage in his yard, according to the Connecticut Post. Wallace Berg, 81, was completely naked Monday in his Stratford yard when a neighbor witnessed him allegedly "humping" a bush.
When the neighbor confronted him -- as anyone would do upon seeing a strange, naked man sexing his shrubbery -- Berg reportedly “stopped the indecent behavior, covered himself with a grill cover, apologized to him and then went into the house,” police told the Connecticut Post.
The neighbor had taken some video of the bush-league behavior and gave it to cops, who charged Berg with public indecency and breach of peace. He was released after posting a $10,000 bond.
Berg didn't immediately respond to calls for comment from The Huffington Post.
Sex with inanimate objects has almost become an American pastime. HuffPost Weird News has reported on dozens of men who have taken joy rides with bicycles, or gotten raunchy with rafts and hell-bound with helicopters.
Edward Smith, of Washington state, claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles, including his favorite, the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit "Airwolf."
"I'm a romantic," he said in 2013. "I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."
Also on HuffPost: