09/29/2006 05:02 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Mark Foley: "My Back Pages..."


Mark Foley lends a hand to a young Page...

Mark Foley - the Republican congressman who spent a lot of his time on the tax-payers' dime emailing and instant messaging young male pages on Capitol Hill with sexually suggestive messages - has a perfectly innocent explanation for his activities!

He is after all a good, self-proclaimed conservative who CARES about young kids and their education.

This from the "Back Pages" of his official website.
(Check it out quickly before his site follows him down the garbage chute.)

"Mark also is a firm believer in finding and supporting innovative ways to encourage our children's educational horizons, including participating in the annual Congressional Art Competition, a program that reaches out to high school students in Florida and the nation to showcase their creative talents. This past year, he voted to increase funding for No Child Left Behind Act "

You see?! He was just trying to reach out to kids to encourage their educational horizons!

No Child's Behind Left! (Or something like that)

And his "Back Pages" also reveal a huge concern about "child predators" and "predatory pedophiles"!

"He has also cosponsored legislation toughening the penalties levied at those who hurt children and, most recently, has joined forces with the Administration and Congress to fight child predators."

There's even a "Back Page" on Foley's website for strapping youngsters to apply to be a Page in Foley's li'l black book!

(Ann Coulter - who lives in the Florida 16th Congressional District represented by Mark Foley - must be VERY proud of her Congressman!)

I guess that's why I love conservatives.

I can't invent stuff this good...